OAKLAND, CA—Ariana Grande kicked off the Eternal Sunshine Tour last night. She debuted many songs live for the first time. The tour supports her latest album, eternal sunshine. It has been six and a half years since her last tour. Grande spent much of that time on the set of Wicked. Fans were eager for new material. They got more than they bargained for. Grande performed nearly her entire catalog. This included many deep cuts. It also included several songs from other albums. The audience was visibly overwhelmed. Many attendees were seen weeping openly. Others simply stared blankly ahead.
A Marathon of Melodies
The setlist spanned Grande’s entire career. Songs from yours truly were featured. Tracks from My Everything also made appearances. Even deep cuts from Sweetener were performed. Grande’s vocal prowess was on full display. She hit every note with precision. The choreography was equally impressive. Backup dancers moved with synchronized grace. Grande herself moved with effortless style. She changed costumes numerous times. Each outfit was more elaborate than the last.
“It was an incredible night,” said fan Brenda Millstone. “I’ve never heard so many songs. I think I heard every song. I don’t think I’ll ever need to hear another song again.” Millstone is the self-proclaimed “Number One Ariana Fan” of Modesto.
The Sunshine State of Mind
Grande seemed to relish the challenge. She powered through each song. Her energy never seemed to wane. The audience responded in kind. They sang along to every word. They danced with unrestrained joy. Some fans even formed impromptu mosh pits. Grande’s commitment to live debuts was clear. She clearly wanted to give fans the full experience. The Eternal Sunshine Tour is shaping up to be a marathon. It is a marathon of music. It is also a marathon of memories.
“She really went for it,” commented music critic Chad Broman of ‘Sounds Like Nothing New’ magazine. “It’s a bold choice to perform every song ever. Especially when most of them sound pretty similar.” Broman has covered Grande’s career since 2013.
At press time, Grande had announced plans to perform next month’s show in Las Vegas. She promised to debut her entire collection of unreleased demos. She also planned to sing the phone book. She wanted to do it backward.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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