FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
OKLAHOMA CITY—Warner Records proudly announces the ultimate edition of a modern psychedelic masterpiece. The upcoming At War With the Mystics reissue will hit digital shelves this autumn. This massive physical package boasts an unprecedented collection of rare audio artifacts. Loyal listeners can finally experience 84 discs of raw, unedited studio tension and audio experiments.
A Treasure Trove of Sonic Trash
The crown jewel of this collection is a legendary nine-minute cover of "Bohemian Rhapsody." Wayne Coyne recorded the vocals entirely through a plastic megaphone while submerged in a lukewarm bathtub. The deluxe At War With the Mystics reissue also contains 14 distinct versions of "The Sound of Failure." Most of these versions feature the band arguing about lunch orders over a heavy synthesizer drone.
"We wanted to redefine the consumer box set experience," said Priya Vantablack, Chief Vibes Compliance Officer at TikTok. "Modern fans do not want polished music. They want to hear legendary musicians drop heavy equipment on concrete floors. This reissue delivers those heavy thuds in pristine high-definition audio."
Exclusive Boilerplate Enthusiasm
Our commitment to physical media remains stronger than ever before. This box set includes a real piece of the plastic bubble used during the 2006 tour. We vacuum-sealed each bubble fragment to preserve the authentic sweat of classic indie rock history. The At War With the Mystics reissue represents a giant leap forward for passive listening experiences. It is the perfect background noise for folding laundry or ignoring your family.
About Warner Records
Warner Records is a leading purveyor of expensive cardboard boxes filled with plastic circles. We specialize in selling the exact same songs to the same fifty-year-old men every seven years. Our primary corporate mission is delaying the inevitable heat death of the physical music market. We do this through the aggressive distribution of colored vinyl and oversized booklets that nobody reads.
