Putin Pledges Support for Iran, Offers Moral Backing for ‘Whatever’
Putin pledges support for Iran, promising "existential" and "vague" solidarity. The Kremlin offered moral…
Supreme Court Declares Cell Location Data ‘Just Kinda Out There’ For Cops
The Supreme Court struggled with police cell location data, with justices admitting confusion and one asking if…
‘Beauty and a Beat’ Dominance Declared a National Emergency
Bieber & Minaj's 'Beauty and a Beat' hitting No. 1 causes global seismic activity & involuntary dancing. A…
Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘Drop Dead’ Hits No. 1, Earns National Holiday
Fans celebrate the chart-topping success with coordinated sobbing.
Stagecoach 2026 Featured Sydney Sweeney’s Lingerie Karaoke
Stagecoach 2026 became a celebrity branding event, featuring Sydney Sweeney's lingerie karaoke bar over actual…
Ducks Ltd. Cover Go-Betweens Song, Earns Nod From Actual Ducks
Ducks Ltd.'s new cover of “Easy Come, Easy Go” impresses local ducks. They praise the jangle, but question the lyrics.
Finland’s PM Lost Because Voters Hated Her Dance Moves
Finland's PM Sanna Marin lost election due to controversial dance moves. Voters preferred stoicism over spirited…
Rosalía’s Neck Brace Performance Elevates ‘Euphoria’ To New Heights
Rosalía's acting debut on Euphoria features her in a bedazzled neck brace. She calls acting less painful than touring.
Spider-Noir Trailer Drops, Promises Gritty Web-Slinging
Prime Video's Spider-Noir trailer reveals a gritty detective story. This Spider-Noir focuses on Parker's…
Drake Confirms Iceman Release Date, Promises Album Will Melt Stereotypes
Drake confirms his new album 'Iceman' drops May 15. The project reportedly explores themes of cold, hard truths…