Trump’s $1.776B Fund Revealed as ‘Patriotic Lawn Gnomes’ Initiative
Controversy surrounding Trump's $1.776B Fund dissolved today. Its true purpose? Funding America's burgeoning…
Republican Hawks Warn of ‘Disastrous Mistake’ in Trump Iran Deal: Fewer Fireworks
Lawmakers fear peace could make upcoming summer barbecues significantly less exciting.
Hypersonic Missile Misses Target, Incinerates World’s Largest Ham Sandwich
A Russian hypersonic missile missed its target, instead incinerating the world's largest ham sandwich at a Kyiv…
Kali Uchis Kicks Off For the Girls Tour, Reveals Album Done for Years
Kali Uchis kicked off her For the Girls Tour, casually mentioning a 'whole album done' since before the…
Powerball Winning Numbers Spark Nationwide Existential Crisis
The Powerball winning numbers 1-2-3-4-5-6 were announced, plunging the nation into existential dread as millions…
Experts Blame ‘Jenga-Inspired’ Design for Philippines Building Collapse
A satirical article about a Philippines building collapse. Experts blame a 'Jenga-Inspired' design philosophy…
Trump’s DOJ Fund Sparks Nationwide Gold Rush for Grievances
Trump's DOJ Fund opens, igniting a claims rush for everything from deep-state pillow sabotage to traumatized…
Kouri Richins Jurors Overwhelmed by ‘Too Many’ Evidence Binders, Declare Case a Draw
Kouri Richins jurors declared a mistrial after being overwhelmed by the sheer physical weight of evidence…
DHS Causes Unforeseen Homeland Security Anxiety in Lawmakers
A new report reveals that Homeland Security's efforts have inadvertently triggered widespread Homeland Security…
Orange County Chemical Leak Blamed on Area’s Overabundance of ‘Good Vibes’
An Orange County chemical leak was officially blamed on the region's overwhelming "good vibes" and excessive…