Music
Drake Drops Three Albums, Confirms He’s Secretly A Triplet
Drake shock-dropped three albums: ‘Iceman,’ ‘Habibti,’ and ‘Maid of Honour.’ He claims they’re from his secret siblings. A true family affair.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
JPEGMAFIA Embraces Glitchy Chaos On New Track “¥ (Yen)”
JPEGMAFIA’s new single “¥ (Yen)” embraces chaotic, glitchy sounds reminiscent of his early work. The experimental rap artist divides fans.
Music
Dr. Hook Frontman Dennis Locorriere Now Hooked On Heavens Stage
Dr. Hook frontman Dennis Locorriere has died at 76. The band’s hit song ‘Cover of the Rolling Stone’ was not a prophecy.
Music
Michael Bublé Drops Country Album: A Crooner’s Ode to Pickup Trucks
Michael Bublé’s new country album is a love letter to country artists and music. He plans to trade jazz for twang, aiming for authenticity.
Music
Michael Jackson Biopic Is Second Music Film to Hit $600M
Michael Jackson’s biopic ‘Michael’ is the second music film to gross over $600M globally, joining ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.
Music
Siri Auto-Deleting Chats to Erase Evidence of Existential Despair
Apple’s new Siri auto-deleting chats feature promises unprecedented privacy, allowing users to finally erase the digital evidence of their most embarrassing, mundane queries.
Music
Chaos Reigns: Swatch AP Pocket Watch Collab Incites Global Frenzy
Retailers grapple with unprecedented demand for a time-telling device that still requires a chain.
Music
Oklou Scores Animated Surfing Movie, Promises Existential Wave
Oklou scores animated surfing movie In Waves, a film about existential dread and the crushing vastness of the ocean.
Music
Oxis 9 Knifefish Track Inspires Global Maritime Law Changes
Oxis 9 Knifefish track has accidentally triggered a global maritime crisis. Experts debate if fish are now legally considered musical instruments.
Music
Ariana Grande 2026 Tour Tickets Secured by Future Civilization
Tickets for the Ariana Grande 2026 Tour were released exclusively to future generations, forcing present-day fans to consider extreme temporal solutions.
Music
National Mall Prayer Event Erects Literal Church and State Wall
A National Mall prayer event inadvertently materialized the symbolic wall between church and state into a literal granite barrier, causing bureaucratic chaos.
Music
Cassidy Loses Primary, GOP Primary Now Just A Trump-Branded Claw Machine
Senator Bill Cassidy loses primary after an algorithm determines the outcome. Voters were spared the inconvenience of actually voting.
Music
Nick Hakim’s ‘Real Here Now’ & ‘Water’ Deemed Too Chill for Public Consumption
Nick Hakim’s new singles “Real Here Now” and “Water” have inadvertently caused an epidemic of extreme tranquility. Governments struggle to re-energize a blissfully inert populace.
Music
The Field’s *Now You Exist* Album Creates Millions of New Beings
The Field’s new album, *Now You Exist*, reportedly caused millions of new sentient beings to spontaneously appear, baffling scientists.
Music
Columbia Records Grapples with Indie-Sounding Bb Trickz ‘Le Le’
Columbia Records is reportedly baffled by Bb Trickz’s new single “Le Le,” which sounds surprisingly indie despite major label backing. Executives are confused.
Music
Jane Remover’s Leroy Drops ‘Status Update Music,’ Confuses Entire Industry
Jane Remover, now known as Leroy, dropped ‘Status Update Music,’ an album with track titles eerily familiar to existing hits, sparking widespread confusion.
Music
Drake Sets New Spotify Stream Record, World Wonders ‘When Will It Stop?’
Drake is Spotify’s Most-Streamed Artist in a Day for 2026 again, releasing three new albums. Fans report sonic fatigue, wondering when his output will cease.
Music
Kurt Vile Debuts New Song “Every Time I Look At You” On The Adam Friedland Show, Stuns Audience
Kurt Vile debuted his new song “Every Time I Look At You” on The Adam Friedland Show. The ballad about a houseplant stunned the audience.