Music
Taylor Swift Trademarks Voice, Image Amid Deepfake Panic
Taylor Swift trademarks voice and image amid AI deepfake fears. She protects her name and likeness from unauthorized AI use.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Hurry Announces ‘Zoned Out’ Album, Band Reportedly Now Permanently Distracted
Hurry announces new album ‘Zoned Out.’ Band members embrace method acting by being perpetually distracted.
Music
Glaive & Kurtains Drop New Album, Promise Existential Dread
Glaive and Kurtains announce new album ‘God Save The Three,’ promising fans a cathartic, loud, and possibly painful listening experience.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Lands Fourth #1 Hit, Credits Nine Inch Nails
Olivia Rodrigo’s fourth #1 hit, “Drop Dead Gorgeous,” was inspired by Nine Inch Nails and a clean conscience.
Music
Madonna’s ‘Club Confessions’ Dance Party Proves Dance Floor Still Exists
Madonna’s ‘Club Confessions’ dance party featured unreleased music and a shocking lack of phone use. A true digital detox.
Music
Putin Pledges Support for Iran, Offers Moral Backing for ‘Whatever’
Putin pledges support for Iran, promising “existential” and “vague” solidarity. The Kremlin offered moral backing for ‘whatever,’ including shared feelings.
Music
Supreme Court Declares Cell Location Data ‘Just Kinda Out There’ For Cops
The Supreme Court struggled with police cell location data, with justices admitting confusion and one asking if ‘digital fences’ could deter squirrels.
Music
‘Beauty and a Beat’ Dominance Declared a National Emergency
Bieber & Minaj’s ‘Beauty and a Beat’ hitting No. 1 causes global seismic activity & involuntary dancing. A national emergency is declared.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘Drop Dead’ Hits No. 1, Earns National Holiday
Fans celebrate the chart-topping success with coordinated sobbing.
Music
Stagecoach 2026 Featured Sydney Sweeney’s Lingerie Karaoke
Stagecoach 2026 became a celebrity branding event, featuring Sydney Sweeney’s lingerie karaoke bar over actual country music.
Music
Ducks Ltd. Cover Go-Betweens Song, Earns Nod From Actual Ducks
Ducks Ltd.’s new cover of “Easy Come, Easy Go” impresses local ducks. They praise the jangle, but question the lyrics.
Music
Drake Confirms Iceman Release Date, Promises Album Will Melt Stereotypes
Drake confirms his new album ‘Iceman’ drops May 15. The project reportedly explores themes of cold, hard truths with frosty lyrics.
Music
Queens Of The Stone Age Reunite With Nick Oliveri, Immediately Regret It
Queens Of The Stone Age reunite with Nick Oliveri at Joshua Tree for one song. Oliveri was later removed from the premises.
Music
Pupil Slicer & Tayne Union Forges “W.N.” Single Of Unspeakable Industrial Dread
Pupil Slicer & Tayne unite for “W.N.,” an industrial track of dread and bombast. Listeners are simultaneously terrified and addicted.
Music
Madonna Debuts New Song, Fights Addison Rae For Mic
Madonna debuted new music at Club Confessions. Drunk Addison Rae grabbed her mic. A battle ensued. Madonna eventually won.
Music
Michael Jackson Film Soars, Proving Audiences Crave ‘King of Pop’ or ‘Just Pop’
Michael Jackson film achieves blockbuster status, proving audiences are hungry for pop legends or just a good thriller.
Music
KPop Demon Hunters Soundtrack Achieves Undead Chart Status
The KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack has inexplicably held a spot on the Billboard 200 Top 10, baffling experts and challenging known chart physics.
Music
Foo Fighters’ <i>Your Favorite Toy</i> SNL UK Debut Prompts National Inquiry
Foo Fighters’ Your Favorite Toy SNL UK debut sparked national concern. The band performed with actual childhood toys, prompting widespread emotional reckoning.