Music
Debbii Dawson’s ‘Kool Aid’ Track Turns Local Ponds Cherry Red
Debbii Dawson’s new single “Kool Aid” is causing a literal splash. Local water sources are turning cherry-red, baffling scientists and delighting neighborhood children.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Osees Surprise-Release New Album, Fans Already Overwhelmed
Osees surprise-released their new album Off Course, pushing listeners to the brink of musical comprehension and existing playlists.
Music
HNTR Follows Viral Remix With Juicy J Collab, Proves Talent Isn’t Entirely Random
HNTR, creator of the viral “Baby Shark” remix, teams up with Juicy J. The producer hopes to replicate lightning in a bottle.
Music
Skrillex Drops Surprise Album, Nobody Has Heard It Yet
Skrillex surprise album ‘Soma’ drops, featuring major artists but nobody can actually hear it.
Music
Broadcom Shares Plummet as CEO Misreads Chart as Grocery List
Broadcom shares plummeted today after CEO Dr. Alistair Finch reportedly confused a complex stock performance chart with his grocery list. Investors are confused.
Music
Revocation Announces ’20 Years of Torment’ Tour; Fans Prepare for Existential Dread
Revocation’s ’20 Years of Torment’ tour promises 2 decades of brutal death metal and existential dread. Fans prepare for sonic punishment.
Music
Niall Horan Explains How BTS Differs From One Direction: Less Wind
Niall Horan believes BTS is different from One Direction due to their lack of wind. He also likes Taylor Swift.
Music
MUNA Cover Erases Go West Original From Collective Memory
MUNA’s cover of Go West’s “The King Of Wishful Thinking” proved so powerful, it erased all memory of the original song from listeners’ minds.
Music
Sara Bareilles Previews ‘Good Grief’ Album With ‘Home’ For The First Time Ever
Sara Bareilles previews ‘Good Grief’ album with ‘Home’ documentary, revealing the studio was her house.
Music
Doja Cat Calls Elon Musk ‘Barrel Chested Ewok’ Over X Audio Feature
Doja Cat demands X reinstate audio posts, calling Elon Musk a ‘barrel chested Ewok’ in a bizarre online rant.
Music
Lauv Drops Out of Tour, Citing Need to ‘Recharge Internal Batteries’
Lauv cites ‘mental health struggles’ for tour dropout. Sources say it’s actually his phone battery life and aesthetic charging needs.
Music
Captain Murphy’s “Mudhole” Features Existential Dread, Mild Discomfort
Captain Murphy’s “Mudhole” submerges listeners in a sonic swamp. The rap persona of Flying Lotus continues to defy expectations.
Music
Spacemoth’s ‘Telepathic Butterflies’ Now Transmitting Existential Dread Directly Into Eardrums
Spacemoth’s new single ‘Telepathic Butterflies’ transmits existential dread. Listeners report mild buzzing and a desire for new lamps.
Music
Riley Green Accepts Hitmaker Award, Blames Clint Black For Bad Habits
Riley Green accepted the Hitmaker Award from Clint Black, thanking him for bad habits. Black praised Green’s hat-wearing skills.
Music
Navy Blue Announces New Album ‘Sir Render’ Featuring Existential Dread
Navy Blue’s new album Sir Render drops Friday, featuring Ka, Earl Sweatshirt, and Armand Hammer. Expect deep introspection and possibly mild ennui.
Music
Composer Admits Ripping Off Geoff Barrow’s Devs Score, Says It Was ‘Accidental Genius’
Composer Harry Escott allegedly admitted to plagiarizing Geoff Barrow’s Devs score, calling it a ‘cosmic echo.’
Music
MJ Lenderman Drops Off Zach Bryan Tour Citing ‘Existential Dread’
MJ Lenderman drops off Zach Bryan tour due to existential dread. Artist claims stadium pressure was too much.
Music
Mal Not Bad Announces New Album Sophomore: Just Okay
Mal Not Bad announced their new album Sophomore and single “WIDC.” Expect music that is objectively, consistently, and unremarkably not bad.