Music
Little Simz Drops New EP, ‘Sugar Girl,’ For Reasons Unclear
Little Simz’s new EP ‘Sugar Girl’ drops next week, baffling fans and critics with its rapid release after ‘Lotus’.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Kerry King Adds His Own Vocals To Expanded ‘From Hell I Rise’
Kerry King adds his own vocals and live recordings to expanded ‘From Hell I Rise’. The expanded edition of ‘From Hell I Rise’ is coming soon.
Music
Kacey Musgraves Squashes ‘Grass-Fed’ Beef With Miranda Lambert
Kacey Musgraves announced a tour and a collab with Miranda Lambert squashing their ‘grass-fed, grade A’ beef.
Music
knitting’s New Single “Here Comes” Met With Mild Confusion
Indie band knitting’s new single “Here Comes” confused listeners expecting knitting-themed music.
Music
Liam Gallagher Explains Why He Hates Suede And Manic Street Preachers
Liam Gallagher explained his disdain for Suede and Manic Street Preachers on X, calling their music ‘sad clowns crying.’
Music
Austrian Man Pleads Guilty to Attempted Attack on Taylor Swift Concerts, Cites ‘Overwhelmingly Catchy Chorus’
Austrian man pleads guilty to attempted attack on Taylor Swift concerts, claiming ‘Shake It Off’ was too catchy. Authorities baffled by pop-induced terrorism.
Music
Teutonic Titans Accept Announces Album Featuring Metallica, Ghost, Judas Priest, and Pantera Members
Accept’s new album ‘Teutonic Titans’ features collaborations with Metallica, Ghost, Judas Priest, and Pantera members. It’s a 50-year retrospective.
Music
Billie Eilish Needs A New Rihanna Album Badly
Billie Eilish desperately needs Rihanna’s R9 album. She believes it could fix her life and the world.
Music
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts, Triggers Global AI Meltdown
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts with “I Feel So Free,” causing AI systems to crash and citizens to experience uncontrollable urges for liberation.
Music
Alex G ‘Unreleased’ Tracks Officially Released, Triggering Existential Crisis
Alex G ‘unreleased’ tracks “Good Green Friend” and “In The Yard” have been officially released, causing widespread philosophical confusion.
Music
Liz Phair & Sleater-Kinney Announce Co-Headline Tour, Causing Existential Crises
Liz Phair & Sleater-Kinney Announce Co-Headline Tour, creating profound existential crises among fans struggling to reconcile their distinct ’90s sounds.
Music
Accept Unleashes *Teutonic Titans 1976-2026* with Unprecedented 50 Guests
German heavy metal veterans Accept announced *Teutonic Titans 1976-2026*, a remakes album featuring 50 guest musicians.
Music
Alex G Shares Headlights Outtake; Fans Ask “Which Headlights?”
Alex G’s new outtake “Good Green Friend” from Headlights sparks fan confusion over car lights.
Music
Metallica Prepares Fully Loaded ‘ReLoad’ Box Set To Rehash Old Riffs
Metallica’s fully loaded ‘ReLoad’ box set reissue drops this summer, offering more of the same. It’s a trip down memory lane, if the memory lane is paved with outtakes.
Music
TURNSPIT’s ‘Do I Know You?’ Single Sparks Widespread Existential Crisis
TURNSPIT’s new single ‘Do I Know You?’ has caused widespread amnesia. Listeners are forgetting basic facts about themselves.
Music
Ariana Grande’s New Album ‘petal’ to Feature Only Sounds of Her Own Exhalations
Ariana Grande’s new album ‘petal’ features only her exhalations. Fans are calling it ‘revolutionary’ and ‘remarkably airy.’
Music
Megan Thee Stallion Cuts ‘Moulin Rouge!’ Run Short, Cites Urgent Need for New Boot Collection
Megan Thee Stallion is leaving Broadway’s ‘Moulin Rouge!’ early to focus on her boot empire. Fans are supportive.
Music
Lady Gaga and Doechii Turn Dancefloor into Actual Runway
Lady Gaga and Doechii’s new music video for ‘Devil Wears Prada 2’ features a dancefloor transformed into an actual runway, complete with synchronized walking.