Music
Laura Pausini Madrid Concert Guests Confirmed To Be ‘Visibly Present’
At the Laura Pausini Madrid Concert, special guests Jeanette and Pablo López were confirmed to be physically present, delighting audiences.
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Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Junior Varsity’s “Radio” Proves Nostalgia Is Now Officially A Competitive Sport
Junior Varsity’s new song “Radio” is a nostalgic trip. It makes listeners miss the early 2000s. The band masters ironic remembrance.
Music
Journey Singer Can’t Quit Due To Contractual Obligations
Journey singer Arnel Pineda is reportedly stuck on the band’s farewell tour. Contractual obligations prevent him from quitting.
Music
‘The Voice’ Coaches Lock In Top 9 Amid Existential Dread
The coaches on ‘The Voice’ locked in their Top 9, wrestling with existential dread and questionable song choices.
Music
Charli XCX Denies Sky Ferreira’s ‘Wuthering Heights’ Demo Theft Claims
Charli XCX’s team has fired back at Sky Ferreira’s claims that XCX stole demos for ‘Wuthering Heights.’ The Wuthering Heights controversy continues.
Music
Wireless Festival Cuts Ties With Alcohol Brands Over Kanye West
Wireless Festival loses Diageo and Rockstar Energy sponsorships over Kanye West booking. Organizers seek ‘Absolute Silence Inc.’ funding.
Music
Lady Gaga & Doechii Hit the ‘Runway,’ Sabrina Carpenter Gives a ‘House Tour’
Lady Gaga & Doechii hit the ‘Runway,’ Sabrina Carpenter gives a ‘House Tour.’ This week in pop is truly something else.
Music
Sabrina Carpenter’s ‘House Tour’ Video Features Unoccupied Home
Margaret Qualley and Madelyn Cline join Carpenter for a tour of absolutely nowhere.
Music
The Strokes Announce New Album, Brace for Reality’s Mundane Onslaught
The Strokes Announce New Album ‘Reality Awaits,’ forcing the detached indie darlings to confront mundane tasks like DMV lines and flat-pack furniture. Fans are divided.
Music
Converge Debut New Songs Live, Immediately Announce More Songs
Converge debuted new songs live, overwhelming fans with sheer volume. Band promises more new material imminently.
Music
MONSTA X Set 2026 North American Tour Amidst Existential Dread
MONSTA X’s 2026 North American tour promises a sonic escape from existential dread. Fans prepare for transcendence.
Music
Kanye West’s Second L.A. Night Features Surprise Guests, Existential Dread
Kanye West’s second L.A. concert featured surprise guests like Lauryn Hill and Travis Scott. The wild second night also included existential ramblings.
Music
Kanye UK Visa Application Halts Entire Parliament, Nation Braces for ‘Cultural Impact’
The UK Parliament has stalled while reviewing the Kanye UK Visa. Officials fear cultural upheaval and a surge in controversial fashion statements.
Music
Guns N’ Roses Play Use Your Illusion I Deep Cut, Rips Fabric of Reality
Guns N’ Roses played a Use Your Illusion I deep cut, ‘Bad Apples,’ for the first time in 35 years, ripping the fabric of reality.
Music
Trump Issues New Iran Deadline, War Enters ‘Sixth Week of Victory’
President Trump issued a new Iran deadline, as the war entered its ‘sixth week of victory.’ Citizens remain unsure what ‘victory’ entails.
Music
Guns N’ Roses Deep Cut Sends Fans Into Puzzled Silence
Guns N’ Roses’ choice of ‘My World’ at São Paulo’s Monsters of Rock confused fans. The rare deep cut performance left many questioning life decisions and musical taste.
Music
SpaceX’s Orbital Data Centers Promise Astronomical Valuation Justification
SpaceX announced plans for orbital data centers, promising to justify its bewildering valuation. Experts praised the lack of gravity and earthly regulations.
Music
Bruce Hornsby’s New Songs: Necromancy Allegations Plague Album Release
Bruce Hornsby’s new album features “late” Bob Weir, sparking necromancy allegations. Fans flock to hear new Bruce Hornsby songs despite legal and spiritual debates.