Music
Ducks Ltd. Cover Go-Betweens Song, Earns Nod From Actual Ducks
Ducks Ltd.’s new cover of “Easy Come, Easy Go” impresses local ducks. They praise the jangle, but question the lyrics.
Section
Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Drake Confirms Iceman Release Date, Promises Album Will Melt Stereotypes
Drake confirms his new album ‘Iceman’ drops May 15. The project reportedly explores themes of cold, hard truths with frosty lyrics.
Music
Queens Of The Stone Age Reunite With Nick Oliveri, Immediately Regret It
Queens Of The Stone Age reunite with Nick Oliveri at Joshua Tree for one song. Oliveri was later removed from the premises.
Music
Pupil Slicer & Tayne Union Forges “W.N.” Single Of Unspeakable Industrial Dread
Pupil Slicer & Tayne unite for “W.N.,” an industrial track of dread and bombast. Listeners are simultaneously terrified and addicted.
Music
Madonna Debuts New Song, Fights Addison Rae For Mic
Madonna debuted new music at Club Confessions. Drunk Addison Rae grabbed her mic. A battle ensued. Madonna eventually won.
Music
Michael Jackson Film Soars, Proving Audiences Crave ‘King of Pop’ or ‘Just Pop’
Michael Jackson film achieves blockbuster status, proving audiences are hungry for pop legends or just a good thriller.
Music
KPop Demon Hunters Soundtrack Achieves Undead Chart Status
The KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack has inexplicably held a spot on the Billboard 200 Top 10, baffling experts and challenging known chart physics.
Music
Foo Fighters’ <i>Your Favorite Toy</i> SNL UK Debut Prompts National Inquiry
Foo Fighters’ Your Favorite Toy SNL UK debut sparked national concern. The band performed with actual childhood toys, prompting widespread emotional reckoning.
Music
G.O.P. Senator Clears Path to Advance Fed Chair Nominee with Completed Crossword
A G.O.P. Senator is prepared to advance a Fed Chair nominee after successfully completing a Sunday crossword. His office lauded the rigorous mental preparation.
Music
Vince Staples’ “Blackberry Marmalade” Spurs National Fruit Preserve Craze
Vince Staples’ new track, “Blackberry Marmalade,” has surprisingly launched a national craze for fruit preserves, turning fans into amateur jam makers.
Music
Hunter Biden Breaks Silence on Fakemink, Details Cloud Rap Immersion
Hunter Biden broke his legendary silence on Fakemink, revealing a shocking depth of knowledge regarding obscure cloud rap artists and their craft.
Music
RZA Pitches Obama to Induct Wu-Tang: Nation Braces for Executive Order
RZA makes direct pitch to Obama for Wu-Tang’s Rock Hall induction, signaling a new era of presidential influence over music industry awards.
Music
Transatlantic AI Powerhouse Forms, Immediately Forgets Where It Parked
The new Transatlantic AI Powerhouse has formed. It promises groundbreaking solutions. However, early reports indicate a minor glitch: it can’t decide if ‘data’ is singular or plural.
Music
Finland’s Marin Concedes Election, Citing Exhaustion From Constant ‘Being Cool’
Finland’s Prime Minister Sanna Marin concedes election, citing the exhausting burden of being Europe’s ‘coolest leader’ and maintaining a perfect personal brand.
Music
Orbán Rebuilds Personal Brand, Eyeing Local Dog Park Commissioner Role
Viktor Orbán rebuilds his personal brand after a landslide defeat, pivoting from national politics to local community roles like dog park commissioner.
Music
Ella Langley Duets With Theo Von, Declares Crowd ‘You Look Like You Love Me’
Ella Langley’s Stagecoach 2026 set featured a surprise Theo Von duet. The crowd loved the surreal moment. Von appeared confused.
Music
Kacey Musgraves Covers SZA’s Kill Bill, Avoids Actual Murder
Star’s rendition leaves critics wondering if she’d really kill her ex.
Music
Neil Young and the Chrome Hearts Unleash Live Album That Actively Warps Timelines
Neil Young and the Chrome Hearts announce “As Time Explodes,” a live album so temporally complex it actively warps timelines and defies conventional listening.