Music
Jessie Ware Automatic Triggers Mass Involuntary Dance Epidemic
Jessie Ware’s new single ‘Automatic’ has unleashed an unforeseen crisis. Listeners report involuntary dancing, sparking widespread public health concerns.
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Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Tom Waits, Kathleen Brennan Announce ‘The Willow And The Dogwood Grow’
Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan release ‘The Willow And The Dogwood Grow,’ a covers compilation. Fans anticipate their unique interpretations.
Music
Salt-N-Pepa Talk Tour Excitement, Say Hip-Hop Still Needs More Cowbell
Salt-N-Pepa discussed tour excitement and the state of hip-hop. They also called for more cowbell. Women dominating hip-hop was a key topic.
Music
JO1 Eyes Taylor Swift for Group Expansion, Prepares Tokyo Dome Spectacle
JO1 wants Taylor Swift to join their group. They are preparing for their Tokyo Dome performance.
Music
Ryan Graham Shaves Head For Speak Low Single ‘One Good Look’
Ryan Graham of State Champs shaved his head for his new Speak Low single ‘One Good Look,’ symbolizing a fresh start.
Music
Oddisee & Heno Announce From Takoma With Love Album
Oddisee & Heno. announce From Takoma With Love. Album details shared. Fans prepare for new music.
Music
Collaborative Whale Birth Prompts Concerns Over Cetacean Peer Pressure
A video of a collaborative whale birth has marine scientists concerned about emerging social pressures among cetaceans, forcing attendance at every delivery.
Music
girl_irl & Danny Brown – “Magic” Track Accidentally Solves World Hunger
The new track “girl_irl & Danny Brown – ‘Magic'” has unexpectedly eradicated global food scarcity, leaving humanitarian organizations scrambling for a new mission.
Music
The Saddest Landscape’s New Song ‘Invisible Hurt’ Exists
The Saddest Landscape’s new song ‘The Invisible Hurt’ is out now. It continues their tradition of exploring profound sadness and existential dread.
Music
Namasenda’s ‘Bad Love’ Is Techno Jam About Toxic Relationship Therapy
Namasenda’s ‘Bad Love’ is a techno jam about toxic relationships. It’s a therapeutic dance party for the emotionally tangled.
Music
Nate Smith Gets Real Over Shots, Claims Burritos Fueled ‘World on Fire’
Nate Smith revealed his hit song ‘World on Fire’ was inspired by burritos. He discusses his culinary breakthrough during a drunken interview.
Music
Cultists Unearth Secret Scroll to See iHeartRadio Awards Online
Desperate fans seeking to stream the iHeartRadio Awards Online have unearthed an ancient Sumerian tablet detailing a complex ritual to access future broadcasts.
Music
J. Cole, Cam’ron Podcast Interview Ends Legal Feud, Reveals Laundry Tips
The protracted legal battle between J. Cole and Cam’ron ended with a 17-hour J. Cole Cam’ron Podcast interview, revealing laundry tips and vending machine disputes.
Music
Trump Unveils Revolutionary Iran Peace Proposal: A Single Sticky Note
The Trump administration’s 15-point Iran peace proposal was reportedly just a crumpled sticky note with “Chill” and stick figures. Iran rejected it, Pakistan offered mediation.
Music
Invisible Iran Talks Descend into Interpretive Pigeon Diplomacy
Invisible Iran Talks continue via mime, carrier pigeon, and a bewildered dolphin. Both nations vehemently deny any actual dialogue is occurring.
Music
Quiet Light’s ‘Postinternetfame’ Prompts Global Digital Paralysis
Quiet Light’s new singles, “Postinternetfame” and “Self Tape,” have plunged listeners into an unprecedented state of digital self-awareness, halting online activity worldwide.
Music
Gelli Haha’s Cloud Commute Raises Existential Questions for DMV Officials
Pop sensation Gelli Haha’s new video shows her driving a cloud, baffling regulatory bodies. Fans demand atmospheric vehicles, while officials try to license the weather.
Music
U.S. Immigration Slowdown Leaves Nation Overwhelmed By Space
A critical Immigration Slowdown has left the U.S. with an unprecedented surplus of personal space. Citizens now struggle with alarming elbow room and quiet.