Republican Hawks Warn of ‘Disastrous Mistake’ in Trump Iran Deal: Fewer Fireworks
Lawmakers fear peace could make upcoming summer barbecues significantly less exciting.
Kali Uchis Kicks Off For the Girls Tour, Reveals Album Done for Years
Kali Uchis kicked off her For the Girls Tour, casually mentioning a 'whole album done' since before the…
Powerball Winning Numbers Spark Nationwide Existential Crisis
The Powerball winning numbers 1-2-3-4-5-6 were announced, plunging the nation into existential dread as millions…
Experts Blame ‘Jenga-Inspired’ Design for Philippines Building Collapse
A satirical article about a Philippines building collapse. Experts blame a 'Jenga-Inspired' design philosophy…
Trump’s DOJ Fund Sparks Nationwide Gold Rush for Grievances
Trump's DOJ Fund opens, igniting a claims rush for everything from deep-state pillow sabotage to traumatized…
Kouri Richins Jurors Overwhelmed by ‘Too Many’ Evidence Binders, Declare Case a Draw
Kouri Richins jurors declared a mistrial after being overwhelmed by the sheer physical weight of evidence…
Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith’s New Label Aims To Ruin Listener’s Lives
Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith launched Someone Special with 'Ruin.' The album aims to ruin the listener's day, not just…
Charli XCX’s “Playboy Bunny” Allegedly Leaked From Secret Instagram Account
Charli XCX's new track "Playboy Bunny" is reportedly only available on a secret Instagram account, baffling fans.
Shakira & Burna Boy’s ‘Dai Dai’ Video Accused Of Causing Global Hunger
The Shakira & Burna Boy ‘Dai Dai’ video, featuring soccer stars, is blamed for global hunger due to its…
Asian Kung-Fu Generation Turns 30, Still Baffled By Everything
Asian Kung-Fu Generation marks 30 years, still creating music for a fractured world with new EPs, baffled by…