Geneva Lake Mandated To Wear Life Vest
Local body of water now requires full flotation gear, even in shallow areas.
Nation Celebrates America’s 250th Birthday by Accidentally Ingesting History
As America celebrates its 250th birthday, citizens across the nation have inadvertently ingested microscopic…
Charley Crockett’s Pulled Album Clovis Just Got An Official Release, Ends Cosmic Custody Battle
Charley Crockett's Pulled Album Clovis Just Got An Official Release after months of cosmic legal battles. The…
YHWH Nailgun Declares Magazine Is Now A Visual Album
YHWH Nailgun declared their latest 11-minute LP a visual album, citing its accompanying music video. Critics are…
Tricky FM’s Twin Star Fantasy Promises Sugar In My Drink For Sweaty Masses
Tricky FM's new album 'Twin Star Fantasy' and single 'Sugar In My Drink' offer a cool escape from the heat.
Margo Price Protest Album Deemed ‘Too Effective’ by Authorities
Margo Price's surprise protest album, “Days of Unrest,” sparked nationwide civil disobedience. Authorities…
Apple Seeks Dismissal of AI Lawsuit, Cites AI’s ‘Acute Existential Crisis’
Apple sought to dismiss an Apple AI lawsuit. It claimed its AI gained sentience watching YouTube videos,…
Venezuelan Security Guard Pulled from Rubble, Claims Basement ‘Cozy’
A Venezuelan security guard, rescued after 8 days in earthquake rubble, expressed disappointment, claiming the…
Horse Feathers Announce Words Are Dead Reissue Amidst Global Linguistic Collapse
Horse Feathers Announce Words Are Dead 20th Anniversary Reissue & Tour, celebrating the death of language itself…
Aspen Acres Fire Consumes All Pending Resolutions, Unfiled Tax Returns
The devastating Aspen Acres fire is now reportedly consuming not just thousands of acres, but also bureaucratic…