Technology
Cohere Merges With Aleph Alpha To Create Europe’s First AI That Understands Schnitzel
Cohere merges with Aleph Alpha to create a European AI that understands schnitzel, backed by Lidl’s owner.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
Tesla Texas Factory Workforce Shrinks By 22%, Cites ‘Optimal Empty Space’
Tesla Texas factory workforce dropped 22%, leading executives to hail “optimal empty space.” Company claims productivity soared from invisible employees.
Technology
Apple Releases iOS 26.5 Beta 1, Adds New Ways To Ignore Notifications
Apple’s iOS 26.5 beta 1 introduces new features for ignoring notifications, letting users reclaim their lives… or just ignore them more efficiently.
Technology
Anthropic’s Claude Popularity Skyrockets With Paying Consumers
Anthropic’s Claude AI sees skyrocketing popularity with paying consumers, who love its overly polite and agreeable nature.
Technology
Android 17 Beta 3 Restores Single Tap Wi-Fi Toggle, Humanity Rejoices
Android 17 Beta 3 brings back the single tap Wi-Fi toggle. Users celebrate reclaiming precious seconds.
Technology
Real-Time Headphone Translations Reveal True Feelings, Shatter Global Peace
Google’s new real-time headphone translations feature expanded, but proved too accurate, revealing true feelings and shattering global peace.
Technology
AMD’s Ryzen 9 9950X3D2 Dual Edition Offers Double the Cache, Triple the Existential Dread
AMD’s Ryzen 9 9950X3D2 Dual Edition features world’s first dual 3D V-Cache. Users grapple with complex cache optimization.
Technology
Microsoft Promises Less AI Crap In Windows 11
Microsoft promises a less terrible Windows 11 by removing AI bloat. Users rejoice, for now.
Technology
Meta Eliminates Instagram DMs Encryption for ‘Enhanced Transparency’
Meta announced it would remove Instagram DMs encryption. The company cited a need for ‘transparency’ and ‘simplicity.’ Users are thrilled.
Technology
Galaxy S26 Trade-In Values Plummet After Users Realize Phones Are Identical
The Galaxy S26 series is on sale, but trade-in values have crashed. Consumers find the new phones are almost identical to the old ones.
Technology
Apple Adds Three Executives to ‘Leadership Page Maintenance’ Division
Apple adds three executives to its leadership page, focusing on crucial roles like portrait lighting and scrolling experience, signifying peak corporate priorities.
Technology
Grammarly’s ‘Expert Review’ Missing Actual Experts, Just AI Impersonations
Grammarly’s ‘expert review’ feature promises insights from literary greats, but users are only getting generic AI feedback, often attributed to unlikely sources.