WASHINGTON—The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued an urgent product recall today for all live performances of the EDM duo. The emergency action follows a severe incident where a Chainsmokers concert hospitalized 14 people during a tour stop in Northern California.
Hazard and Risk Assessment
The regulatory agency classified the duo's signature build-ups as a Class I hazard. Investigators found that the drop in the song 'Closer' caused immediate, uncontrollable physical distress. Doctors treated fourteen concertgoers at a local medical center for acute sensory overload and severe emotional regret. The official recall notice warns that the duo's live audio frequencies can cause sudden, involuntary nausea.
"Our testing labs confirmed the acoustic levels exceeded safe human limits," said Dr. Helene Vasquez-Thorne, Lead Researcher at the Center for Studies That Confirm What You Already Suspected. "We observed test subjects trying to swallow their own teeth during the synth solo. This Chainsmokers concert hazard represents a clear failure of basic audio engineering safety standards."
Affected Units and Remedy
The recall affects all performances scheduled between 2016 and the present day. Regulators urged consumers to immediately stop listening to The Chainsmokers on all streaming platforms. Venue owners must return all unsold ticket inventory to the manufacturer for safe chemical disposal. The government will oversee the controlled detonation of the band's remaining pyrotechnics in an abandoned salt mine.
At press time, federal agents were seen loading the band's giant LED screen into a biohazard containment unit.
