NEWARK—The federal trial investigating illegal distribution monopolies in the indie-rock ecosystem took a surreal turn today as prosecutors entered the highly anticipated GDP new album into evidence as Exhibit C.
Q: Mr. Miller, you recorded under the moniker GDP for the label Run For Cover Records, correct?
A: Yes. I made skate-rap. It was the late 2000s. Everyone wore tight jeans.
Q: And then you vanished to pursue film and photography. Why?
A: The industry cartel threatened me. They said if I kept rapping over emo samples, they would confiscate my skateboard trucks. I had bills to pay.
Q: Who is 'they'?
A: Marcus Bellweather, Spotify's Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence. He told me the algorithm could not process a rapper who also liked Sunny Day Real Estate. It broke the software.
Q: So this GDP new album, 'Cross Off Matthew,' is actually a coded whistleblowing document?
A: Precisely. The lead single 'Island In The Sky' details how major streaming platforms physically hide hip-hop artists who show any affinity for punk rock. I had to leak the truth.
