New Federal Initiative Promises Ultimate Election Oversight
A new federal initiative promises ultimate election oversight, eliminating the need for citizens to vote by…
Katie Alice Greer’s ‘Perfect Woman Sound Machine’ Achieves Full Vacuum Seal
Katie Alice Greer's new album, 'Perfect Woman Sound Machine, Vol. 1', promises sonic perfection, leaving…
Mavis Staples, Hozier, Elvis Costello, Warren Haynes Sing ‘The Weight’ Awkwardly
Mavis Staples, Hozier, Elvis Costello, and Warren Haynes tackled 'The Weight' at a NYC benefit. The performance…
Gorillaz SNL Debut Leaves Real Musicians Questioning Their Existence
Gorillaz's Saturday Night Live debut sparked an existential crisis among human musicians, blurring lines between…
Nettspend Drops New Album Early Life Crisis, Confuses Listeners
Nettspend's new album 'Early Life Crisis' drops early, confusing fans who expected a different kind of…
Keanu Reeves’ Dogstar Album ‘All in Now’ Promises Existential Dread
Keanu Reeves' Dogstar releases 'All in Now,' an album exploring existential dread. The band calls it…
Stock Market Rally Attempt Prays for Global Instability
The latest Stock Market Rally Attempt is now entirely dependent on geopolitical turmoil, with analysts…
U.S. Offers to ‘Babysit’ Iran’s Nuclear Stockpile
The U.S. Department of Defense announced plans to 'temporarily relieve' Iran of its nuclear stockpile, citing…
Gorillaz SNL Performance Causes Existential Crisis in Studio 8H
A recent Gorillaz SNL performance caused widespread existential confusion, with host Ryan Gosling questioning…
Joseph “Country Joe” McDonald’s Death Triggers Mandatory Daily Fish Cheer
Following Joseph "Country Joe" McDonald's passing, a little-known federal directive now mandates a daily…