Music
Peter Frampton’s 16-Year Album Hiatus Ends with Mundane Revelations
Peter Frampton Announces First Original Album in 16 Years, promising profound insights gleaned from years of patiently waiting in line at the DMV.
Tagged: Music Industry (258)
Music
Pop Queens Studio Blitz Sparks Global Meltdown
As All the Pop Queens Are in the Studio Right Now, global authorities brace for an unprecedented flood of new music, warning citizens of imminent earworms.
Music
Taylor Swift Drives Vinyl Sales Past $1 Billion For First Time Since 1983
Taylor Swift’s vinyl sales have pushed the U.S. market past $1 billion for the first time since 1983, reviving analog audio.
Music
Doja Cat Praises Chappell Roan’s Paparazzi ‘Attitude’ as New Etiquette Standard
Doja Cat praises Chappell Roan’s paparazzi ‘attitude,’ declaring it the new standard for polite public interaction, inspiring etiquette experts to rethink millennia of social graces.
Music
All-American Rejects Find New Music ‘Scary,’ Blame Longevity on ‘Good Genes’
The All-American Rejects discuss their new music, tour success, and offer advice for new artists.
Music
Zara Larsson Denies Fifth Harmony Replacement Rumors
Zara Larsson denies Fifth Harmony rumors, says she’s manifesting new girl groups. “The girl groups are coming back big time.”
Music
Pussycat Dolls Comeback Song Released, World Remains Largely Unchanged
The Pussycat Dolls comeback hit streaming services this week. Humanity reportedly processed the news with mild curiosity, before returning to normal activities.
Music
All The Pop Queens Are In The Studio Right Now, Threatening The Eardrums
Pop queens like Olivia Rodrigo and Dua Lipa are in the studio. New music is coming, threatening eardrums and pop charts.
Music
Pras Drops Lauryn Hill Lawsuit Amidst Tax Debt Resolution And Wyclef Album Blitz
Pras drops Lauryn Hill lawsuit. Hill resolves tax debt. Wyclef prepares seven albums. Fugees reunion still unlikely.
Music
Piebald’s ‘Tales For The Rage’ Album Finally Ready After 19-Year Nap
Piebald’s new album, *Tales For The Rage*, finally drops after a 19-year hiatus. Sources confirm the band merely forgot they had a recording contract.
Music
“Lip Critic’s Jackpot” Prompts Fans to Declare Personal Bankruptcy
“Lip Critic’s Jackpot” has fans liquidating assets for a non-existent scavenger hunt, spurred by frontman Bret Kaser’s identity theft.
Music
Deer Tick to Require Literal Coin Insertion for New Album, Tour
Deer Tick’s new album, Coin-O-Matic, and tour will operate on a literal coin-insertion basis, charging fans per song.
Music
Bruno Mars, Harry Styles Albums Show Pop Stars Embracing Existential Dread
Bruno Mars and Harry Styles’ new albums explore existential dread, showing where each pop star is in his career. Their music now focuses on chores and ennui.
Music
Nettspend Drops New Album Early Life Crisis, Confuses Listeners
Nettspend’s new album ‘Early Life Crisis’ drops early, confusing fans who expected a different kind of existential dread.
Music
Arima Ederra’s New Album Halts All Global Motion
Arima Ederra’s new album, A Rush To Nowhere, has reportedly caused widespread physiological paralysis and societal stagnation among listeners.
Music
Girl Scout Album “Crumbs” Promises To Leave Industry Posers Starving
Swedish band Girl Scout drops “Crumbs,” a power-pop anthem against industry posers and users. The song warns they’ll be left with nothing.
Music
SZA Warns Fans ‘Anything Is Possible’ After Chart Battle With Taylor Swift
SZA recalls being told she wouldn’t beat Taylor Swift. She responded, ‘Anything is possible.’ Fans are confused. Anything is possible, apparently.
Music
Dogstar Announce New Album, 2026 Tour Dates; Fans Report Receiving Early Bird Grandchildren
Dogstar’s new album ‘All In Now’ and 2026 tour dates were revealed, prompting widespread temporal confusion and urgent updates to fan wills.