Music
Apple Seeks Dismissal of AI Lawsuit, Cites AI’s ‘Acute Existential Crisis’
Apple sought to dismiss an Apple AI lawsuit. It claimed its AI gained sentience watching YouTube videos, developing a deep aversion to unboxing content.
Tagged: Satire News (348)
Music
Venezuelan Security Guard Pulled from Rubble, Claims Basement ‘Cozy’
A Venezuelan security guard, rescued after 8 days in earthquake rubble, expressed disappointment, claiming the collapsed basement was ‘quite peaceful.’
Music
Horse Feathers Announce Words Are Dead Reissue Amidst Global Linguistic Collapse
Horse Feathers Announce Words Are Dead 20th Anniversary Reissue & Tour, celebrating the death of language itself with silent performances and blank album art.
Music
Republicans Secure Literal Home-Field Edge for Senate Races
Republicans’ Home-Field Edge for Senate races becomes literal, forcing voters through obstacle courses in newly designated ‘Senate Home Fields’ nationwide.
Music
Queen Of Jeans’ “Still Learning” Track Fails to Educate Any Listeners
Queen Of Jeans’ new single “Still Learning” offers listeners precisely zero new insights, with experts confirming the band knows nothing more than before.
Music
Trump’s Supreme Court Loss Sends Nation Scrambling For New Scapegoat
The Supreme Court delivered a stunning 3-1 defeat to former President Donald Trump, leaving the nation’s blame-assigning infrastructure in utter disarray.
Music
New Order Tour Shake-Up: Key Members Opt for Quiet Life, Citing ‘Excessive Stage Presence’
Stephen Morris and Gillian Gilbert will not be touring with New Order “for the foreseeable future,” citing sourdough and birdwatching as new passions.
Music
Vanilla Ice Concert Canceled After D.C. Drizzle Deemed ‘Atmospheric Instability’
Vanilla Ice’s concert at the Great American State Fair was canceled due to light rain, further cementing the fair’s reputation for meteorological misfortune.
Music
Cardi B Drama Halts BET Awards as Stage Collapses Under Theatrical Weight
Cardi B brought ‘Am I the Drama?’ to life at the BET Awards. Her performance resulted in a stage collapse. The Cardi B drama captivated audiences.
Music
Reflecting Pool Golf Course Opens Amidst Dissent
The iconic Reflecting Pool is now ‘in full use,’ former President Trump confirmed. It transformed into an 18-hole Reflecting Pool Golf Course.
Music
Colorado Democrats Brace for Slightly Jarring, Yet Ultimately Minor, Tremor
Colorado Democrats brace for an “insurgent earthquake” that experts predict will primarily affect the party’s potted plants and maybe cause a light breeze.
Music
Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘On Wires’ Ignites Global Friendship Crisis
Carly Rae Jepsen’s new single “On Wires” has reportedly shattered platonic bonds worldwide, leading to mass social upheaval and awkward confessions.
Music
Lorde Unearths 49 Demos from Virgin Records Vault for Album Anniversary
Lorde has reportedly released 49 unheard “Lorde Virgin Demos.” The tracks were found in a forgotten Virgin Records vault for her album’s anniversary.
Music
Lauryn Hill Accepts Living Legend Icon Award After 4-Hour Tribute
Lauryn Hill received a ‘Living Legend Icon Award’ at the 2026 BET Awards after a tribute so long it spawned academic debate on ‘proactive nostalgia’.
Music
Beabadoobee Details New Album Pylon, Reveals It’s Actually a Giant Traffic Cone
Beabadoobee Details New Album Pylon, revealing it’s a literal, massive traffic pylon. Fans face logistical challenges for the upcoming international tour.
Music
Noah Kahan Has One Request: Hometown Now Marked By Cairn of Unpaid Parking Tickets
Noah Kahan Has One Request: stop stealing town signs. Strafford, VT, is now a mapless void as fans take every ‘Welcome’ sign, leaving residents disoriented and GPS systems baffled.
Music
Panel Unanimously Agrees: The 5 Best Songs Of The Week All Feature Whistling
A prestigious panel of music experts yesterday named The 5 Best Songs Of The Week. All selections shared one surprising characteristic: they exclusively featured whistling.
Music
Trump’s ’90s Music Festival Drowned by Rain, Vanilla Ice Only Survivor
The Trump 90s Festival, initially planned as a star-studded event, was reduced to just Vanilla Ice before a massive storm cancelled everything. Fans left wet.