Business
Major Indexes Rise After Traders Sacrifice Golden Calf to Nvidia
Major indexes rise after Wall Street traders admit to sacrificing livestock to stabilize Nvidia and Dell stock prices in a federal court hearing.
Tagged: SEC (3)
Business
Stock Market Rotation Now Requires Physical Gym Equipment
The SEC rules that the latest stock market rotation requires traders to use physical gym equipment to shift assets.
Music
SEC Ceases Faraday Future Investigation, Citing ‘Extreme Boredom’
The SEC officially dropped its Faraday Future investigation, admitting the four-year probe yielded less evidence than a cat chasing a laser pointer. Regulators just gave up.