Music
Trump’s DOJ Fund Sparks Nationwide Gold Rush for Grievances
Trump’s DOJ Fund opens, igniting a claims rush for everything from deep-state pillow sabotage to traumatized lawn gnomes. Absurdity reigns.
Tagged: Trump Administration (6)
Music
Oil Market Doubts Deepen as Trump’s Peace Signals Transmit Via Interpretive Dance
Global oil market doubts deepened this week as traders struggled to interpret President Trump’s peace overtures, leading to extreme price volatility.
Politics
Judge Halts Race-Based Admissions Data Collection, Protecting Calculators Nationwide
A federal judge halted the Trump administration’s race-based admissions data collection effort, saving colleges from quantifying non-factors and bureaucrats from existential dread.
Music
White House Task Force Baffled by Logistics of ‘Taking Cuba’
White House officials encountered unexpected hurdles this week in their efforts regarding ‘taking Cuba,’ reportedly finding the island difficult to move.
Music
Trump’s War in Iran Causes Gas Pumps to Spontaneously Combust
Trump’s War in Iran literally collided with public opinion, causing gas prices to spike. The administration calls it ‘patriotic fuel surplus’.
Music
Federal Jobs Hiring Reversal Sparks Unprecedented Demand for “Warm Bodies”
Trump administration’s dramatic federal jobs hiring reversal leads to a desperate search for “warm bodies” to fill newly created, nonsensical government roles.