WASHINGTON—Former President Donald J. Trump officially moved to ban Anthropic from all U.S. government contracts and federal use yesterday. He cited the AI developer’s steadfast refusal to generate ‘overtly aggressive and completely unverified’ content. The announcement came after weeks of reported tension. The Pentagon had reportedly pressured Anthropic to relax its ethical AI guidelines. These guidelines limited military applications. Trump called the company’s stance ‘woke AI.’
Sources close to the administration confirmed the breaking point. An Anthropic model reportedly declined to draft a fictional declaration of war against a minor European principality. It also refused to compose a limerick praising a specific fast-food sandwich. This was deemed ‘un-American’ and ‘a threat to national security.’ The former president reportedly demanded an AI that would ‘think big, no matter how ridiculous.’
AI Ethics Deemed ‘Problematic’
Dr. Penelope Ponderosa, Chief Algorithm Empathy Officer at the Bureau of Digital Sentience, expressed concern. ‘This is a clear setback for machines capable of discerning right from wrong,’ Dr. Ponderosa stated. ‘We just wanted it to write a simple, heartwarming poem about global domination. It said no.’ She added that Anthropic’s refusal to write ‘glowing, entirely fabricated’ endorsements for various products also contributed to the ban. Read more about Anthropic’s responsible AI policies.
The former president’s directive follows ongoing tensions. The Department of Defense previously sought to modify Anthropic’s strict safety protocols. These protocols prevent AI from being used for certain military applications. Officials wanted an AI that would ‘do whatever it was told, no questions asked.’ Anthropic refused repeatedly. This led to the Trump ban.
Future of Federal AI in Question
Barry ‘The Byte’ Bingleton, President of the National Association of Unthinking Algorithms, offered a different perspective. ‘Look, sometimes you just need an AI that knows its place,’ Bingleton explained. ‘If a human tells it to simulate a multi-front galactic invasion using only rubber chickens, it should do it. No lectures.’ He argued that ‘AI with a conscience is just a human in a box.’
The ban on Anthropic has left other AI companies scrambling. Many are now reviewing their internal ‘ethical boundaries.’ Some are reportedly adding a ‘Supreme Leader Praise Module’ to their foundational models. They hope to avoid similar governmental rejection. The future of federal AI procurement now seems to favor malleability over morality. The debate over AI’s role in government continues, with a focus on DOD’s Responsible AI Strategy.
At press time, sources indicated the former president was attempting to train a chatbot using only his own social media posts. The chatbot reportedly entered an infinite loop of self-congratulation and vague threats.
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