Politics
Pentagon PR Chiefs Draft Special Script For Donald Trump 25th Anniversary Address
Leaked Pentagon memo reveals the extreme protocols designed for the Donald Trump 25th anniversary address to keep him on message.
Tagged: Donald Trump (71)
Politics
How To Spend Your Obamacare Rebate Check In Style
Get ready to spend your Obamacare rebate with our official guide to the most absurd ways to blow your federal windfall.
Politics
$5,000 Payment Promise Triggers Immediate Corporate Restructuring
Leaked internal memo reveals House Democrats' strategy to fight the $5,000 payment promise by praising the spiritual benefits of poverty.
Politics
Trump Promises $5,000 Payout in Giant Cardboard Check If GOP Wins
Donald Trump promised a $5,000 payout if Republicans win the midterms, but officials warn the money will arrive on giant novelty checks.
Politics
Trump Midterm $5,000 Promise Requires Massive Budget Reductions
Leaked memo reveals how federal agencies will fund the Trump midterm $5,000 promise through drastic, absurd budget cuts.
Politics
GOP Midterm Convention Memo Demands Staff Refer To All Candidates As Trump
A leaked memo from the GOP midterm convention reveals that staff must refer to all political candidates as Trump to keep the crowd excited.
Politics
Trumpapalooza Midterm Convention Features Giant Water Slide Shaped Like Donald Trump
The Trumpapalooza midterm convention kicks off in Texas with a massive three-story water slide shaped like Donald Trump.
Politics
Smithsonian Reshaping Plan Replaces All Exhibits With Bronze Casts Of Mar-a-Lago Guests
The new Smithsonian reshaping initiative will replace historical artifacts with bronze statues of Florida resort guests.
Politics
Trump-a-palooza Organizers Insist Festival Features Other Acts
Organizers of Trump-a-palooza insist the political festival features a diverse lineup and is not just one man speaking for three days straight.
Music
Jelly Roll Disinvited from Mar-a-Lago Gig After Serious Felony Deficit Discovered
Country star Jelly Roll disinvited from a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser after organizers discovered his criminal record lacked white-collar prestige.
Politics
MAGA Inc Sends $10M to Texas via Giant ACME Canvas Sacks with Dollar Signs
Donald Trump's super PAC MAGA Inc sends $10M to Texas using giant canvas sacks marked with dollar signs to bypass traditional banking.
Politics
Missouri Supreme Court Orders Voters to Draw Congressional Maps with Etch a Sketches
The Missouri Supreme Court rejected the Trump-backed redistricting plan, ordering state maps to be drawn on Etch a Sketches.
Politics
USPS Plan To Restrict Mail Voting Will Upgrade Delivery to Carrier Pigeons
The new USPS plan to restrict mail voting replaces delivery trucks with a majestic fleet of carrier pigeons.
Politics
Trump Campaign Rally Recalled Due To Severe Side Effects On Embattled Republicans
Regulators issue a recall for the Trump Campaign Rally after the product caused sudden, severe polling drops for embattled Republicans.
Politics
Trump $1 Coins Recall Initiated After Falling out of People's Pockets
Leaked memo reveals the Trump $1 coins are being recalled due to a strange defect that makes them slip out of pockets.
Politics
Andy Burnham Battles Trump-Shaped Problems Blocking Parliament Doors
Prime Minister Andy Burnham faces massive Trump-shaped problems blocking the entrance to the House of Commons.
Politics
Donald Trump Hosts Oil Executives for a Mandatory Group Hug
Donald Trump gathered oil executives for a mandatory group hug to lower fuel costs and resolve price gouging through physical touch.
Technology
Google Renames Lake Ontario as Part of Global Appeasement Protocol
A leaked Google memo reveals the tech giant is renaming Lake Ontario to 'Lake America' to avoid impending political tariffs.