Trump Secures ‘Winnable War’ After Cuba Agrees to Surrender in Principle
Former President Donald Trump finally secured his long-sought winnable war on Cuba, receiving a conditional…
Trump’s $1.776B Fund Revealed as ‘Patriotic Lawn Gnomes’ Initiative
Controversy surrounding Trump's $1.776B Fund dissolved today. Its true purpose? Funding America's burgeoning…
Trump China Problems Settled: Earth Reaches Final Level, President Declares
Following his Trump China visit, President Trump declared all global problems "settled." Diplomats are…
Iran Vows To Fight On As Trump Says Ceasefire Is On Life Support
Iran vows to fight on as Trump says ceasefire is on life support. Middle East conflict enters new phase of…
Oil Prices Jump After Trump Rejects Peace, Citing “Too Much Peace”
Global oil prices jump after former President Trump dismisses an Iran peace proposal, citing a market preference…
Trump Disapproval Rating Soars to Historic High, Even Dogs Now Expressing Dissent
The Trump disapproval rating has hit a new high. A recent poll even recorded dissent from household appliances…
Trump Disapproval Reaches New High, Shifting Earth’s Axis
A new poll found Trump disapproval reaches new high, causing a planetary wobble. Scientists linked the sentiment…
Late Night Laughs Ensue Over Trump’s Jesus ‘Joke’
Late night hosts mined humor from Donald Trump's Jesus 'joke' meme. Explanations only fueled the comedic fire,…
Trump Issues New Iran Deadline, War Enters ‘Sixth Week of Victory’
President Trump issued a new Iran deadline, as the war entered its 'sixth week of victory.' Citizens remain…
Trump Appeals to Finish White House Ballroom, Citing ‘Urgent Need to Cha-Cha’
Former President Trump filed an emergency appeal to finish his White House ballroom, reportedly to avoid…