WASHINGTON—The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) issued an immediate, nationwide product recall today for U2’s new tribute song, 'The Mirror Maker (Rosalía).' Regulators took action after reports confirmed frontman Bono invented new Spanish words for the track. The agency classified the recording as a Level 4 auditory hazard. It poses a severe risk of cognitive confusion and linguistic vertigo to all global listeners.
Linguistic Hazards Detected
Government inspectors identified three non-existent terms during a routine audio sweep of the U2 track. The band apparently created these verbs to rhyme with the name of Spanish pop star Rosalía. The fictional words 'motomamiente' and 'guitarralizar' caused immediate headaches in testing groups. The track appears on the upcoming album Carnaval de Luz.
"We observed immediate disorientation in bilingual test subjects," said Dr. Hector Vance, Director of Acoustic Safety at the CPSC. "Bono attempted to conjugate nouns that do not exist. This creates an unstable grammatical vacuum. We advise all citizens to stop streaming the tribute song immediately."
Affected Units and Remedy
The recall affects approximately 12 million digital streams across Spotify and Apple Music. The agency ordered DSPs to geofence the track. It remains blocked until the band replaces the gibberish with real Spanish vocabulary. Priya Vantablack, Chief Vibes Compliance Officer at TikTok, urged creators to delete any user-generated videos containing the audio. "We cannot verify the vibes of words that do not exist in the Spanish language," Vantablack stated in a press release.
At press time, Bono defended the track by claiming he also invented three new colors for the album cover.
