FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
WASHINGTON—Today marks the historic launch of the Joint Committee on Robot Silencing, a historic coalition featuring Bernie Sanders and Steve Bannon. The two outspoken political opposites have officially joined forces to aggressively push for aggressive curbs on AI. The coalition represents a new era of bipartisan screaming aimed at software engineers.
A Unity of Discontent
Organizers confirmed that the coalition will kick off with a joint national speaking tour. Both men plan to stand extremely close to microphones. The effort aims to restrict artificial intelligence before machines learn how to speak with moderate, inside voices. Organizers promise the loudest stage in modern political history.
"We are absolutely thrilled to leverage our shared synergy of being highly agitated," said Wren Adebayo-Kowalski, Head of Sincerity at OpenAI, who was hired to consult on the launch. "This campaign leverages cross-aisle friction to optimize our holistic disruption of digital systems. We expect the physical volume of this partnership to render the actual curbs on AI completely secondary to the sheer acoustic force of their anger."
Maximum Volume Regulation
The campaign plans to target tech hubs with targeted megaphones. Staffers have already ordered four hundred extra-large button-down shirts for Bannon and three backup pairs of glasses for Sanders to point aggressively at reporters. The strategy involves confusing the silicon chips with pure, unadulterated human static.
"About the Joint Committee on Robot Silencing: Founded in a dark parking garage behind a Washington diner, our organization operates with zero budget, zero digital infrastructure, and a total reliance on physical paper flyers. We are dedicated to stopping the future. Our primary funding comes from selling commemorative, hand-signed chalkboards that do not require any software updates."
