Music
Drake Drops Iceman Album After Leaving It In Block Of Ice
Drake finally dropped Iceman after hiding it in a block of ice. He also released two other albums, leaving fans to chip away.
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Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Ibeyi Announces New Album Offering, Will Feature Existential Dread
Ibeyi’s new album Offering will feature the twins recording separately. They explore isolation and existential dread.
Music
Strokes’ Valensi Hiatus Blamed on ‘Too Many Chords,’ Replacement Brings Laser-Focused Energy
The Strokes Announce Nick Valensi Hiatus due to his ‘excessive’ chord knowledge. His replacement debuted with more lasers than guitar on Colbert, redefining rock.
Music
Thucydides Trap Literally Ensnares Several Prominent Scholars
A literal Thucydides trap has reportedly ensnared several prominent academics, proving the ancient theory more physical than previously understood.
Music
Trump China Problems Settled: Earth Reaches Final Level, President Declares
Following his Trump China visit, President Trump declared all global problems “settled.” Diplomats are reportedly now searching for new hobbies.
Music
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for Remix, Hopes to Absorb Youth Electronically
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for new remix, sparking speculation the pop icon is attempting to download youth directly into her discography ahead of ‘Confessions II.’
Music
Salem’s Red Dragon Album Drops, Fans Confused by Hospital Socks
Salem’s new album Red Dragon dropped alongside a Supreme collection, baffling fans who mostly received grippy hospital socks instead of music. Chaos ensued.
Music
Drake Finally Unveils ‘Iceman,’ Releases 2 Surprise Albums
Drake surprise-drops ‘Iceman,’ ‘Habibti,’ and ‘Maid Of Honour.’ Fans are overwhelmed by the triple album release, questioning the artist’s prolific output.
Music
Drake Reveals Dad Has Cancer, Offers Him Ride To Chemo
Album also features Drake driving himself to dealer for new rims.
Music
Julieta Venegas ‘Norteña’ Album Accidentally Triggers Border Wall Construction
Julieta Venegas’ new album ‘Norteña’ is so authentically rooted in regional Mexican sounds that its sonic vibrations have begun constructing a physical border wall.
Music
Stabbing Westward Announces 30 Years of Wither Blister Burn & Peel Tour with Surprises
Stabbing Westward is touring for 30 years of Wither Blister Burn & Peel. They’ll play the album live and release a re-recording that sounds the same.
Music
The Avalanches Drop “Together” After Years of Cryptic Laser Tag
The Avalanches released “Together” after a cryptic RPG. The song captures the spirit of laser tag.
Music
Be Your Own Pet Announces 20th Anniversary Tour, Still Unsure What A Pet Is
Be Your Own Pet’s 20th anniversary tour will revisit their debut, leaving fans to ponder the meaning of pet ownership.
Music
Dua Lipa’s Mexico City Live Album Mandated By Local Ordinance
Fans thrilled to hear perfectly reproduced studio tracks, now with added street noise and bureaucratic sighs.
Music
The Pines Of Rome Announce New Album, Blame Art on Lunar Cycles
Indie rock outfit The Pines Of Rome announce new album, citing a decades-long commitment to ’emotional fermentation’ before releasing new tracks.
Music
Chance the Rapper Announces Coloring Book 10th Anniversary Tour Six Years Early
Chance the Rapper has announced his “Coloring Book 10th Anniversary Tour,” celebrating his 2016 mixtape a full six years ahead of schedule.
Music
Jane Remover Drops Surprise ‘Leroy’ Album, Album Art is Just a JPG of a Hamster
Jane Remover surprised fans by dropping a new album under the moniker Leroy, featuring bewildering track titles and a hamster on the cover.
Music
Band proun’s ‘Coloring Pages’ Deemed Anti-Competitive by DOJ
Indie rock band proun’s latest single, “Coloring Pages,” has been flagged by federal regulators for allegedly monopolizing the childhood art supply market.