Music
M.I.A. Sues Kid Cudi for Kick-Off, Cites Emotional Tour Departure
M.I.A. is suing Kid Cudi for $2.8 million after being kicked off his tour. She claims the dismissal caused ‘irreparable damage’ to her ego and career.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Boards of Canada Backrooms Song Traps Viewers in Existential Loop
A Boards of Canada Backrooms song from their new album ‘Inferno’ reportedly caused viewers to become trapped in theaters, questioning reality.
Music
Pearly Drops Voices Back – Spectral Demands Expand with New Album
Pearly Drops Announce Expanded The Voices Are Coming Back, literally summoning ancient, demanding spirits to collaborate on the album and annoy listeners.
Music
She & Him Bring TikTok Hit To Kimmel, Blame Algorithm For Unwanted Resurgence
She & Him Bring TikTok Hit to Kimmel, visibly confused. The indie duo reportedly baffled by their unexpected viral resurgence, blaming an inscrutable algorithm.
Music
Judge Restores Kennedy Center’s Name, Blocks Renovation-Themed ‘Nap’
A federal judge reversed Trump’s renaming of the Kennedy Center and blocked its two-year closure. The unexpected Kennedy Center ruling saves mime festivals.
Music
Friday Night Lights Band Crucifictorious Reunites, Declares Daniel Johnston Their ‘Unsung Mentor’
The Friday Night Lights Band Crucifictorious reunited to cover Daniel Johnston, stirring fervent debate over their interpretation and the very fabric of fictional rock.
Music
Fiona Apple Co-Wrote A Song On Cara Delevingne’s Debut Album, World Not Ready
Fiona Apple Co-Wrote A Song On Cara Delevingne’s Debut Album, confirming fears. The collaboration promises haunting melodies and existential meows, leaving the world bracing itself.
Music
Trump Slams “Third Rate” Freedom 250 Dropouts, Eyes “Patriot Rally” for True Believers
Donald Trump criticized “third-rate” Freedom 250 dropouts, proposing a D.C. rally for loyalists instead of a concert by “unreliable” artists.
Music
Taylor Swift Concert Terror Plot Derailed By Eras Tour Ticket Scarcity
A man convicted in a Taylor Swift concert terror plot was foiled not by security, but by the impenetrable Eras Tour ticketing system. His scheme never got off the ground.
Music
Apple Unveils Per-Pixel Pricing on iPhone Camera Roadmap
Apple announced a radical new iPhone camera roadmap, introducing per-pixel pricing for all photos and videos. This costly upgrade aims to ‘democratize’ photography.
Music
Netherlands Braces as Kanye West Cleared to Perform on His Birthday
Kanye West was cleared to perform in the Netherlands on his birthday due to a legal loophole. Officials couldn’t find a law to stop him, much to the nation’s bewilderment.
Music
Vanilla Ice Defends Performing at Trump Concert, Says He ‘Doesn’t Even Vote’
Vanilla Ice defended performing at a Trump concert, saying ‘I don’t even vote’ and would play for any leader.
Music
Italian Authorities Cancel Ye & Travis Scott Concerts Over ‘Excessive American Vibrations’
Italian Authorities Cancel Ye & Travis Scott Concerts over concerns that ‘excessive American vibrations’ could damage ancient Roman masonry and local olive groves.
Music
All Them Witches Break Down New Album House of Mirrors, Reveal Existential Dread
All Them Witches discuss their new album House of Mirrors, revealing it’s a sonic labyrinth of existential dread.
Music
BABYMETAL Drops ‘from me to u (Jordan Fish Remix)’ Amid Existential Dread
BABYMETAL’s new ‘from me to u (Jordan Fish Remix)’ plunges fans into existential dread. Get ready for the 2026 World Tour!
Music
Paul McCartney’s Chicken Shop Date Sparks Global Economic Revival
Paul McCartney’s chicken shop date, marking his new album release, inexplicably triggered a global economic boom and redefined culinary culture.
Music
Tom Morello’s New Song ‘Adjourn It’ Finally Ends All Debate
Tom Morello’s new song ‘Adjourn It,’ featuring Serj Tankian and Roman Morello, has a peculiar side effect: it instantly silences all political debate, leaving the world eerily quiet.
Music
AI IPO Race Forces Anthropic’s Claude to Work Overtime
The intense AI IPO Race has reportedly pushed Anthropic’s new Claude model to unprecedented levels of digital exhaustion, sparking concerns.