Music
Anti-Weaponization Fund Stalls, Donors Demand Return of ‘Lawfare’ Legos
Trump’s Anti-Weaponization Fund hits a snag, leaving donors demanding their ‘Lawfare Legos’ back and rebranding efforts in shambles.
Section
Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Trump’s Excellent Health Redefines “Excellent”; Doctors Confused
Amid reports of Trump’s excellent health, medical professionals grapple with a new definition of “peak physical condition” that includes limited exercise and a unique diet.
Music
Drake Dominates Canadian Charts, Blames ‘Aggressive Snowfall’
Drake breaks Canadian chart records, fueling speculation about a ‘streaming tax’ funding more of his music. Canadians blame aggressive snowfall.
Music
MXZI Makes Phonk Mainstream, Normal People Still Confused
MXZI brings phonk to the mainstream with billions of streams, leaving older generations confused by the cowbell-heavy genre.
Music
BabyChiefDoIt Announces He’s Ready for His “Big One”
Rapper BabyChiefDoIt is ready for his “Big One,” a highly anticipated project expected to be his breakout moment. Industry insiders are buzzing.
Music
Bill Murray, Beck, Mark Mothersbaugh, Karen O To Perform Wes Anderson Film Concert Series
Bill Murray, Beck, Mark Mothersbaugh, Karen O headline Wes Anderson film concert series. Prepare for melancholy whimsy.
Music
Ezra Collective Shares New Song, Hopes To Unify Global Jazz Scene
Ezra Collective shares new song ‘Hope’ and album ‘Here Because Of Hope.’ Tour dates to be delivered by carrier pigeon.
Music
Zane Lowe Emerges From Down Under, Now Rock Star Whisperer
Zane Lowe, ‘The Rock Star Whisperer,’ has captivated audiences by interviewing musicians. His technique involves nodding and asking vague questions.
Music
Riot Fest 2026 Lineup Reaches Peak Musical Saturation
Riot Fest 2026 lineup features Tool, Morrissey, Alanis Morissette, Iggy Pop, and Afroman. Organizers call it a ‘sonic tapestry.’
Music
Nelly Wins $67K Fine From Lawyer Over ‘Country Grammar’ Lawsuit
Nelly wins $67K fine from lawyer after a baseless copyright suit over his hit ‘Country Grammar’ was dismissed. The rapper’s legal team celebrated.
Music
Ebbb’s ‘Shallow Hits’ Album Promises Minimalist Musical Depth
London trio Ebbb’s new single ‘Shallow Hits’ is a minimalist masterpiece. The band claims its shallowness allows for deeper listener projection.
Music
Knocked Loose, Denzel Curry Announce Aggressive New Joint Tour
Knocked Loose and Denzel Curry’s ‘Hive Mind’ tour promises sonic chaos. Fans brace for a loud, cathartic experience.
Music
Levitation Festival Adds Angine de Poitrine, Bikini Kill
Levitation Festival adds Angine de Poitrine, Bikini Kill to its 2026 lineup. Organizers promise a transcendent experience.
Music
Tom Morello’s Power to the People Fest Promises Unity, Also Guitars
Tom Morello’s Power to the People Festival unites rock titans for a cause, proving music can change the world. Or at least make it louder.
Music
Jadasea Announces Holly Grove, Promises Existential Dread
Jadasea announced his new album ‘Holly Grove,’ promising existential dread and authentic pigeon sounds. The South London rapper’s LP arrives June 25.
Music
Devon Again Signs With Interscope, Promises To Hold Hands With Daniel Nigro
Devon Again inks a deal with Interscope via Daniel Nigro’s Amusement Records, promising hand-holding and shared mood journals.
Music
deBasement Drops “STAY IN UR LANE” to Assert Creative Dominance
deBasement’s new single “STAY IN UR LANE” is a defiant anthem demanding respect for artistic boundaries.
Music
Hew Reconciliation So Powerful It Ends Centuries-Old Feuds
“Hew Reconciliation” by emo band Hew accidentally triggered global peace, forcing world leaders to reconcile centuries-old conflicts and leaving the musicians confused.