TO: All Rockstar Games Audio Leads
FROM: Gary Churn, Vice President of Interactive Synergy
RE: Selection of GTA VI Radio Hosts for Leonida Airwaves
Team, we must finalize the broadcast lineup for our upcoming release immediately. We secured Bad Bunny and Lana Del Rey as our primary GTA VI radio hosts. This decision targets maximum demographic overlap. We want players to feel existential dread while running over virtual traffic cones.
A Synergy of Chaos and Sadness
Our research shows players love contrast. Therefore, Lana Del Rey will host 'Back Country Radio' alongside her real-life alligator tour guide husband. Country star Morgan Wallen will also co-host this station. "We wanted the acoustic warmth of the swamp mixed with the cold reality of a federal tax audit," said Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before. Flense served as an external consultant for the soundtrack team.
Additionally, Bad Bunny will host the Latin trap station 'Radio Leonida.' This station will play exclusively at high volumes in stolen speedboats. Having these GTA VI radio hosts ensures players stay immersed during high-speed police chases.
The Heavy Metal and Pop Divide
Other stations will feature Burna Boy, Robyn, and surviving members of the thrash metal band Slayer. Our testing group showed great enthusiasm for this mix. "Slayer is perfect for home invasions," noted Barnaby Quill, Senior Analyst of Unsolicited Forecasts at Goldman Sachs. "But Robyn is better for when you accidentally drive your supercar into a municipal swimming pool."
Please ensure all voice actors record their lines by Friday. We need 400 hours of improvised dialogue about the price of premium gasoline. We must remind the public that we do not just make video games; we curate lifestyle packages for people who do not go outside.
Sincerely,
Gary Churn
Dictated but not read. Please delete this email. If this leaks, the shareholders will realize we spent the entire music budget on alligator food.
