CAMBRIDGE, MA—The post-punk band Landowner has issued a decree. They demand the public to “Bow To Your Superior.” This edict followed the release of their new album, Assumption. The album features the track, “Bow To Your Superior.” Band members claim the song is a satirical take on power dynamics.
Local residents reported unusual requests. These requests circulated via handwritten parchment scrolls. The scrolls were delivered by small, highly-trained ferrets. The band’s newly acquired estate now flies a custom flag. It depicts a fist crushing a smaller, subservient fist.
Feudal Futures
“We just wanted to explore themes of ownership,” stated Jonathan Mess, Landowner’s self-appointed “Baron of Bass.” “We never imagined people would take ‘Bow To Your Superior’ so literally.” Mess spoke from his newly installed turret. He was wearing a velvet tunic. His statement contradicted reports of the band charging tolls on public roads. These roads now bisect their property. He pointed to the band’s recent coverage on Stereogum as proof of their artistic intentions.
The band’s recent financial success fueled the change. Critics praised their “weak d-beat” sound. This unexpected windfall allowed them to purchase a significant tract of land. The land encompasses several historic public footpaths. Their previous singles, “Rival Males” and “Normal Returns To Normal,” hinted at their evolving worldview. They now refer to their fans as “subjects.”
A Modest Proposal
“It’s just good business practice,” explained Penelope “Penny” Forth, Landowner’s newly appointed “Serfdom Administrator.” “When you own the land, you own the rules. It’s really quite simple.” Forth oversaw the distribution of “superiority assessment” forms. These forms required detailed genealogies. They also demanded proof of kneeling proficiency. This new system, she added, draws heavily from historical feudal structures.
Local authorities expressed confusion. They cited centuries of common law regarding public access. Landowner, however, countered with hastily drawn property deeds. These deeds were often smudged with what appeared to be artisanal jam. The band announced plans for a “Loyalty Festival” next month. Attendance would be mandatory for all within their newly defined “domain.”
At press time, several local pigeons were seen wearing tiny, unenthusiastic crowns.
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