Technology
Elon Musk Starlink Throttling Options Offered To Global Leaders
SpaceX introduces new Starlink throttling packages to help world leaders schedule military disruptions around billionaire mood swings.
Tagged: Satire (23)
Politics
James Talarico Proves Life By Performing Entire ACL Set In Hazmat Suit
Politician James Talarico addresses disappearance rumors by rocking out in a giant sterile bubble at ACL.
Politics
Israel Outsources Blame to Consulting Firm for Faster Bureaucracy
Israel outsources blame to consultants to streamline political finger-pointing and bureaucratic evasion.
Technology
A New Wide Foldable Smart Bench Is Coming To Conquer San Francisco Parks
A new wide foldable smart bench is set to disrupt municipal seating and block entire city streets.
Politics
Judge Blocks Big Bend Border Wall Until Coyotes Pay For It
A federal judge has halted the Big Bend border wall until local desert wildlife can establish proper credit to pay for the construction.
Technology
Leaked Memo Reveals October Prime Day To Require Blood Sacrifice
A leaked Amazon internal memo reveals that October Prime Day will require members to offer physical tributes to secure early deals.
Business
Howie Buffett Defends Cherry Coke Assets in Senate Inquiry
Howie Buffett defended his strategy to protect Berkshire Hathaway's assets, including a massive underground reserve of Cherry Coke.
Technology
Leaked Apple Memo Demands iPhone 18 Battery Drain Prior to Shipment
A leaked internal memo reveals Apple's strict new protocol requiring a complete iPhone 18 battery drain before shipping devices.
World
Train Tracking Service Offers VIP 'Guaranteed Near-Miss' Routes For Ex-Politicians
A new train tracking service offers former politicians high-risk 'Guaranteed Near-Miss' routes to help boost their memoirs.
Technology
T-Mobile Free iPhone 18 Deal Requires Plasma Donation
Get the new T-Mobile free iPhone 18 without spending a dime. All it takes is a simple, mandatory four-liter plasma donation at your local store.
Politics
Israel Denials Memo Shows Netanyahu Denies Having Ever Been Warned
Leaked memo outlines how Israel denials dictate that Benjamin Netanyahu cannot biologically receive warnings of any kind.
Politics
German Political Parties Draft Memo to Ban Sadness Before State Elections
Leaked memo reveals German political parties plan to ban sadness to stop the rise of the far-right.
Politics
The 2026 Midterm General Election: 5 Shocking Things To Watch
Get ready for the 2026 midterm general election with our list of the absurd trends, lawn sign wars, and political panic to watch.
Politics
Germany's Political Firewall Replaced With actual firewall to block far-right
Germany upgrades its political firewall to a literal ring of fire following recent far-right election gains.
Science
SpaceX Rival Admits Space Is Just Big Empty Closet for Rich People's Garbage
A leaked court transcript reveals a prominent SpaceX rival admits the commercial rocket industry is just a high-priced trash disposal service.
Technology
Apple iPhone Launch Event Demands Blood Sacrifice Under New CEO
The upcoming iPhone launch event marks a bold, blood-bound direction for tech giant Apple under its new chief executive.
Politics
Germany's Far-Right AfD Wins State Vote on Anti-Gravity Platform
Germany's far-right AfD party secures a massive electoral victory after promising to abolish the law of gravity.
Business
Launch Startups Announce $10 Billion Series A to Think About Rockets
Two European launch startups secure $10 billion in funding to think about rockets without the burden of actually building them.