Music
Action Bronson – “Peppers” Unleashes Global Scoville Scourge
Action Bronson – Peppers has listeners reporting a global spice crisis, leading to mass capsaicin cravings and spontaneous combustion.
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Music
Eladio Carrión’s ‘CORSA’ Explores Existential Dread Of Unused Wrestling Moves
Eladio Carrión’s ‘CORSA’ delves into wrestling’s unused moves. He praises 50 Cent’s ‘hidden’ skills.
Music
BTS Mexico Tour Declared National Holiday, Border Opened
BTS Mexico tour becomes a state affair. President requests more shows due to ARMY demand. K-pop group’s visit declared national event.
Music
Kacey Musgraves and Miranda Lambert End Feud With “Horses And Divorces”
Kacey Musgraves and Miranda Lambert ended their feud with a live performance of “Horses And Divorces.” The duet resolves their past songwriting dispute.
World
Dow Futures Surge 500 Points As Iran War Nears End, AMD Soars On Hope
Dow futures surged as reports of an end to the Iran war tanked oil prices. AMD also jumped, pleasing investors and gamers alike.
Music
Justin Bieber Becomes Most Streamed Artist After Coachella, Unpaid Intern Blames AI
Justin Bieber is now Spotify’s most streamed artist after Coachella. An unpaid intern allegedly programmed an AI to boost his listener numbers.
Music
Rolling Stones Announce ‘Foreign Tongues’ Album, Still Confused
The Rolling Stones announced their new album Foreign Tongues, but band members seem confused by their own lyrics.
Music
Los Campesinos! Reveal North American Tour Costs: Mostly Just Shame and Regret
Los Campesinos! reveals what it costs to tour North America, including surprisingly high costs for existential dread and artisanal pickles.
Music
Kelela’s New Avatar Album Dematerializes Singer Into Cloud Server
Kelela’s new avatar album launch has reportedly led to the singer’s full physical dematerialization, leaving her consciousness in a cloud server. Fans must now plug in.
Music
Greta Van Fleet Are Teasing Something – The Breakup We All Hoped For
Greta Van Fleet is teasing something new, leading fans to fervently hope for their long-awaited breakup.
Music
Converge Announces Album With A Straight Face, Stuns Industry
Converge’s new single ‘Doom In Bloom’ arrives as band announces second album this year, shocking industry.
Entertainment
Met Gala Guests Wore Clothes To 2026 Met Gala
Stars at the 2026 Met Gala wore clothes, surprising no one. The event celebrated an array of fabric-based garments.
Music
Pussycat Dolls Cancel North American Tour Due to Lack of ‘Don’t Cha’ Wish You Bought Tickets?’
The Pussycat Dolls cancel North American tour due to poor ticket sales, leaving fans asking ‘Don’t Cha’ wish you bought tickets?’
Music
Pat Sajak Unlocks Action Bronson’s ‘Planet Frog’ Album Release Date
In an unprecedented move, “Wheel of Fortune” announced Action Bronson’s new album “Planet Frog.” The reveal has reshaped music marketing forever.
Music
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ Dominates Hot 100 For Eighth Week
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ is No. 1 again. Fans are apparently still choosin’ Texas over all other states.
Music
Isaiah Rashad Links Up With SZA for New Song “Boy in Red”
Isaiah Rashad and SZA reunite for “Boy in Red” on his album It’s Been Awful, proving they can still find each other.
Music
Jpegmafia Announces Experimental Rap Tour, Album Dropping May 21
Jpegmafia announced his new experimental rap album and tour. Prepare for backward music, interpretive dance, and potential hearing loss.
Music
TikToker Rallies Pledges to Buy Spirit Airlines, Plans to Run It With ‘Vibes’
A TikToker rallies pledges to buy Spirit Airlines, raising $1.2 billion in under 48 hours. New CEO plans to run the airline with ‘vibe weight’ baggage fees and in-flight dance zones.