Music
Justin Timberlake Arrest Video Shows Star Worried About Missing Gherkin
The Justin Timberlake Arrest Video reveals the pop star was more concerned about a misplaced gherkin than his career or legal troubles, baffling fans.
Latest · page 173
Music
Chappell Roan: “I Do Not Hate Children” (But Prefers They Remain Unseen)
Chappell Roan issued a firm statement, “I Do Not Hate Children,” attempting to clarify her stance after an incident at Lollapalooza Brazil. She merely prefers adults.
Music
Screamo Bands Unveil High-Concept Split LP ‘PALLA’, No One Understands It
Screamo bands Letterbombs and Heaven Through Violence released a high-concept split LP, PALLA. Listeners are baffled by its inscrutable themes.
Music
SZA Covers Goo Goo Dolls’ Resurgent ‘Iris’ While Humanity Suffers
SZA Covers Goo Goo Dolls’ Resurgent ‘Iris’ again, pushing humanity closer to a full mental breakdown from the song’s inescapable ubiquity.
Music
Dylan Brady Drops Solo EP, Featuring Uncredited Yeat & Kylie Jenner Appearance
Dylan Brady’s new solo EP, ‘Needle Guy,’ drops with cryptic Yeat & Kylie Jenner feature, leaning into abstract noise over vocals.
Music
Dave Davies Defends ‘Lola’ Transphobia Claims: ‘Moby’s Never Been To A Drag Show’
Dave Davies defended The Kinks’ ‘Lola’ from Moby’s transphobia claims, suggesting Moby doesn’t understand drag.
World
Texas Natural Gas Prices Go Negative, Producers Light It Up
Texas natural gas prices hit negative territory. Producers burn off excess fuel as pipelines overflow, baffling onlookers.
Music
Bob Dylan’s 2026 Tour Starts With Eddie Cochran, Long Black Coat
Bob Dylan kicked off his 2026 Tour with Eddie Cochran’s ‘Nervous Breakdown’ and a rare ‘Man in the Long Black Coat’.
Music
Finland’s PM Marin’s Electoral Defeat Linked to Public’s ‘Joy Deficit’
Finland’s PM Sanna Marin’s electoral defeat was not due to policy but her perceived happiness, which voters found ‘unrelatable’ and a source of national ‘joy deficit.’
Music
ICE at Airports: Agency to ‘Streamline’ Travel, Add ‘Emotional Support’ Agents
ICE at airports are set to ‘streamline’ travel, adding ‘Emotional Support Agents’ to ensure ‘national tranquility’ and ‘optimal compliance’ from confused passengers.
Music
BTS’ New Album ‘ARIRANG’ Causes Global Internet Traffic Spike
BTS’ New Album ‘ARIRANG’ has shattered every conceivable Spotify record, leading analysts to fear a global internet slowdown. The album’s success is unprecedented.
Music
Ras Laffan Attack Reveals Global Gas Supply Was Just an Elaborate Play
The Ras Laffan Attack exposed a shocking truth: the global natural gas supply was always an elaborate illusion. Markets reel from this conceptual energy crisis.
Music
Northwest Flooding Worsens, But Experts Find Silver Lining in ‘Water Features’
As Northwest Flooding Worsens, officials and residents alike are finding innovative ways to rebrand the disaster. ‘It’s not a flood, it’s a water garden!’
Music
Supreme Court Streamlines Voting by Making Vote by Mail Harder
Supreme Court ruled it could be harder to vote by mail, introducing invisible ink and deep-sea diver delivery. Only dedicated voters will succeed now.
Music
Cuba’s Power Outages Now ‘Nationwide Hide-and-Seek’ Event
Cuba suffers nationwide power outage again. Citizens now embrace frequent blackouts as ‘dark retreats,’ developing new games and businesses in the dark.
Politics
ICE at Airports: Federal Agents to Pat Down Wallets, Not People
Federal agents are now tasked with airport security, focusing on ‘unauthorized tender’ as ICE at airports takes on a new role amidst unpaid TSA workers.
World
Iran Missile Range Now Threatens Europe’s Collective Laundry Day
Iran’s recent missile launch at Diego Garcia unexpectedly extended their Iran missile range, bringing European domestic chores into potential peril.
Music
BTS Comeback Concert Causes Minor Geologic Event in Seoul
BTS comeback concert in Seoul was so electrifying, it caused a minor geological event. The city reportedly shifted on its tectonic plate, baffling geologists and requiring map updates.