Music
‘La Morrita’ Tops Second Chart: Carin León Credits Song’s Success To ‘My Buddy Xavi’
Duo claims their regional hit is ‘just like us’ after crossing over to overall Latin charts.
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Sports
Iranian Women’s Soccer Team Seeks Asylum, Cites Lack of Proper Goal Nets
Iranian women’s soccer players seek asylum in Australia, citing flimsy goal nets and poor catering. The team’s departure sparks international debate.
Music
Rostam Details Tour, First Album In 5 Years, Promises No Existential Dread
Rostam’s new album ‘American Stories’ tackles ‘Changephobia’ with relatable anxieties and a tour of tiny terrors.
Music
Bassvictim’s New ? EP Rules With Unsettlingly Catchy Synth-Pop
Bassvictim’s new EP ? rules with surprisingly catchy synth-pop, baffling critics and fans alike with its positive sound.
Music
Dionne Warwick’s Final Album Demands Soul-Crushing Duets
Dionne Warwick preps her final album, demanding existential dread from collaborators. Lisa Rinna weighs in with a shriveled prune emoji.
Music
Rostam Announces American Stories Album, Promises More Stories
Rostam’s new album ‘American Stories’ is out May. The lead single ‘Like A Spark’ reportedly contains multiple narrative arcs.
Music
Thomas Dollbaum Taps MJ Lenderman for Bird-Themed Drum Duty
Thomas Dollbaum’s new album Birds of Paradise features MJ Lenderman on drums, inspired by bird sounds.
Music
‘Shut Up, JENNIE!’ Fans Demand as Star Joins Viral Dracula Trend
‘Shut Up, JENNIE!’ trend sees BLACKPINK star JENNIE go full vampire. Tame Impala provides the soundtrack.
Music
Filth Is Eternal’s ‘Hellfire’ Prompts New Public Health Warnings
Filth Is Eternal’s new single ‘Hellfire’ reportedly causes spontaneous combustion of small objects, leading to new public health advisories and insurance clauses.
Music
Fatboi Sharif & Child Actor Announce New Album Crayola Circles, Reality Shifts Slightly
Fatboi Sharif & Child Actor Announce New Album Crayola Circles, promising a listening experience that blurs reality and perception.
Music
Outlaw Country Platinum Album: Rebels Just Wanted A Quiet Night In
Historians now reveal the legendary compilation was inspired by a shared aversion to group texts.
Music
Thundercat’s ‘ThunderWave’ Prompts Unprecedented Global Funk-Induced Tidal Surges
Thundercat’s new track “ThunderWave” (Feat. WILLOW) has been linked to bizarre seismic activity and spontaneous water displacement worldwide, sparking widespread concern and spontaneous dancing.
Music
Iran’s New Supreme Leader Revealed As Enthusiastic Competitive Birdwatcher
Mojtaba Khamenei, Iran’s new supreme leader, is revealed to be a passionate competitive birdwatcher, leading to unexpected policy shifts and global confusion.
Music
Trump’s War in Iran Causes Gas Pumps to Spontaneously Combust
Trump’s War in Iran literally collided with public opinion, causing gas prices to spike. The administration calls it ‘patriotic fuel surplus’.
Music
True Green’s ‘Bindi Sue’ Tribute Bewilders Global Audience
True Green’s ‘Bindi Sue’ Is A Tribute To The Late Steve Irwin, but the track’s repeated praise for ‘gorgeous asphalt’ has left many confused.
Music
Bruno Mars’ ‘The Romantic’ Album Causes Billboard Hot 100 to Develop Sentient Feelings
Bruno Mars’ new album has inexplicably caused the Billboard Hot 100 to develop sentient feelings. The chart now demands emotional validation and therapy.
Music
George Michael’s Faith Tour Film Unearths Lingering Backstage Snack Wrappers
Newly restored ‘George Michael’s Faith Tour Concert Film’ footage goes beyond music, revealing pristine images of forgotten backstage snack wrappers.
Music
Finland’s PM Lose Due to Nation’s ‘Severe Lack of Disco Balls’
Finland’s PM Sanna Marin lost due to a surprising voter concern: the nation’s severe lack of disco balls, leading to a ‘sparkle deficit’ that overshadowed all else.