Taylor Swift’s ‘Opalite’ Tops Hot 100, Elevates Mall Pretzels To High Art
Taylor Swift's 'Opalite' hits No. 1, inspiring the pop icon to celebrate with a giant mall pretzel. Experts hail…
Groovin The Moo Returns To Lismore, Boasts ‘Unprecedented’ Swamp-Based Lineup
Groovin the Moo returns to Lismore in 2026 with a swamp-infused lineup, promising attendees a truly authentic…
Taylor Swift’s ‘Opalite’ Hits Number One, Fans Mysteriously Develop Gemstone Allergies
Taylor Swift's 'Opalite' hit #1, but fans are getting mysterious rashes. Is the song literally toxic?
Taylor Swift Celebrates Opalite’s Chart Success With Elaborate Capybara Pageant
Taylor Swift celebrated "Opalite" hitting number one by hosting a pageant for her pet capybaras. They seemed to…
friends& folx Declared Maximalist Manifesto For Acoustic Strummers
friends&'s 112-track album folx is a maximalist manifesto. It explores folk music, capitalism, family, and the…
Topshelf Records Can No Longer Support Ekko Astral’s Existential Dread
Topshelf Records can no longer support Ekko Astral, citing drama. The band will self-release 'the beltway is burning.'
Queen Elizabeth II Held Out Hope for Andrew Amidst Royal Fury
Queen Elizabeth II held out hope for Prince Andrew, but Charles and William fumed over the scandal.
Residents Blame Record Snowfall on ‘Aggressive Weather’
Record snowfall breaks daily records in PA, DE, and NJ. Residents are bewildered by the aggressive weather.
Dropkick Murphys Attempt ‘Whisper-Core’ at Acoustic Memorial Concert
Dropkick Murphys traded their signature punk energy for a remarkably subdued acoustic set at a memorial concert,…
Nothing’s New Album ‘A Short History Of Decay’ Truly Decays
Nothing's new album 'A Short History Of Decay' is so authentic, the music itself is decaying.