WASHINGTON— The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued an urgent recall today for YSL Records' new double album, Slime Language 3. Federal inspectors classified the 41-track release as a Class I acoustic hazard. The agency ordered streaming platforms to pull the digital files immediately. They warn that the album contains dangerous, unregulated low-frequency audio waves.
Severe Structural Hazards Detected
The recall affects all digital streams, vinyl pressings, and CD copies of Slime Language 3. Government testing revealed that the track featuring Future and Travis Scott generated 450 decibels of sub-bass. This frequency can crack residential foundations. Dr. Rusty Calhoun, founder of Dads Against Bass, assisted the federal investigation. "We tested the record on a standard home stereo," Calhoun said. "The sheer volume of Slime Language 3 instantly liquefied a nearby drywall installation."
Affected Units and Immediate Remedies
The hazard list includes guest appearances by Lil Baby, Yeat, and Trippie Redd. Regulators urge consumers to delete the files from their local storage. The government advises listeners who downloaded the album to contact Trippie Redd's management for a full refund. "We are seeing unprecedented speaker cone combustion across the nation," said Marcus Bellweather, Spotify's Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence. "Our algorithms failed to suppress these high-density slime frequencies."
Consumer Protection Protocol
The Department of Energy dispatched specialized clean-up crews to several college dormitories. Technicians are currently neutralizing subwoofer cabinets with industrial foam. The label has not yet announced a safe, remastered version of the project. Consumers should monitor their smart devices for signs of spontaneous smoke. At press time, federal agents were seen seizing a hard drive containing unreleased Cash Cobain verses with hazmat suits.
