TO: All Motown Records A&R Staff
FROM: Bradley Sterling, VP of Crisis Management
RE: Emergency Protocol for the official Yung Miami tracklist launch
Team, the full Yung Miami tracklist for her debut solo album Watch Dis has officially leaked to the press. We need to control the narrative immediately. This record features Travis Scott, Summer Walker, Quavo, G Herbo, Lil Baby, and Kodak Black. That is simply too many famous people for one server to hold. Please brace yourselves for total operational chaos.
Managing High-Risk Guest Features
Our primary concern is studio logistics. We cannot allow Travis Scott and Kodak Black in the building at the same time. The structural integrity of the roof will fail. "We have deployed riot shields to the mixing board," said Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena. "If these features collide, the resulting bass response could flatten downtown Atlanta."
Furthermore, staff must monitor every Yung Miami tracklist discussion on social media. Do not correct fans who misspell the features. Let them think Quavo recorded his verse from an actual helicopter. It builds character. It also distracts from the clear manufacturing delays on the physical vinyl pressings.
The Final Operational Motive
Please remember that this album must succeed at all costs. We spent the entire quarterly marketing budget on custom diamond-encrusted ear monitors for the guest artists. "If this record does not stream one billion times by Friday, I will personally be demoted to managing regional ska bands," added Sterling in a post-script. "Please stream the album on loop while you sleep. Our mortgages depend entirely on these feature verses."
