STOCKHOLM—The Swedish Consumer Agency announced a voluntary recall of the newly elected Swedish far-right government on Monday morning. Regulators issued the safety notice after several test-voters swallowed small, unpolished political promises. The agency designated the incoming administration as an immediate choking hazard for the domestic populace.
Severe Suffocation Risks
Inspectors discovered the administration contains sharp, jagged policy edges. These edges break off easily under light democratic pressure. "We observed immediate structural failure during basic stress tests," said Astrid Lindqvist, Chief of Product Safety at the Stockholm Consumer Bureau. "The Coalition model lacks the basic stability required for public consumption. We urge all citizens to stop using the Swedish Government immediately."
The recall affects approximately 10 million units currently residing in Sweden. Experts warn that the imported nationalistic rhetoric contains high levels of leaden prose. If ingested, this prose can cause severe cognitive dissonance and a loss of historical perspective.
Authorized Remedies and Replacements
"The mechanism of the far-right coalition is simply too fragile for everyday household use," said Rusty Calhoun, retired stadium acoustician and consultant for Swedish parliamentary acoustics. "When exposed to minority dissent, the inner gears of the cabinet seize up. It emits a high-pitched, whining sound that exceeds safe decibel levels."
Citizens who purchased the far-right government should return their ballots to the nearest municipal box. The agency will offer a full refund in the form of a neutral, flat-packed social democracy. These replacement packages require assembly but contain fewer hazardous, loose elements.
At press time, the Swedish Consumer Agency warned that attempting to repair the far-right government at home using duct tape and tax cuts would void the national constitution.
