Politics
Federal Recall Issued For The Government Shutdown Prevention Bill
Regulators have issued an urgent recall for the government shutdown prevention bill after discovering hazardous levels of bipartisan functionality.
Tagged: Government Shutdown (6)
Politics
House Back In Session Memo Orders Staff To Hide All Chairs
A leaked internal memo reveals House leadership is removing all chairs to ensure the House back in session remains as brief as humanly possible.
Music
DHS Funding Deal Falters as Lawmakers Discover It Requires Governing
The DHS funding deal stalled as lawmakers discovered federal agencies require actual money, not just abstract concepts, to function.
Politics
ICE at Airports: Federal Agents to Pat Down Wallets, Not People
Federal agents are now tasked with airport security, focusing on ‘unauthorized tender’ as ICE at airports takes on a new role amidst unpaid TSA workers.
Music
Airline CEOs Stunned to Learn Airport Security Officers Aren’t Paid for Work
America’s airline CEOs were reportedly ‘stunned’ to learn their dedicated airport security officers had been working without pay. They urged Congress to address the ‘unforeseen’ issue.
Music
TSA Workers Discover Hidden Talents Amid Paycheck Loss
Unpaid TSA workers have embraced new, self-directed roles after losing their first paycheck. They found creative, absurd ways to pass the time at airports.