LOS ANGELES—British musician Thom Yorke Will Release A New Solo Album This Year, sources confirmed Tuesday. The Radiohead frontman reportedly signed a new contract. It mandates an annual solo release. Executives cited “undeniable market demand.” Fans have long awaited more of his signature “staring intensely” sound.
“We simply can’t leave that much angst untapped,” stated Bethany “Biff” McMurdo. She is the Head of Existential Dread Merchandising at Universal Music Group. “Mr. Yorke’s unique brand of melodic despair is a renewable resource. We are simply harvesting it.” McMurdo revealed the album will feature 10 tracks. All are reportedly titled “Untitled (Part N).”
Creative Constraints Emerge
Industry insiders noted the tight deadline. It left little room for organic artistic expression. Yorke was seen reportedly recording in a converted broom closet. It was located deep within Capitol Records. He used only a single analog synthesizer. Its power cord was reportedly frayed.
“He just kept muttering about ‘the algorithm’ and ‘the inescapable loop’,” recalled Chip ‘The Ripper’ Henderson. Henderson is Yorke’s newly appointed ‘Inspiration Facilitator.’ “We tried to introduce him to a puppy. It didn’t help. He just recorded its whimpers.” Henderson also confirmed the album’s lead single will be 38 minutes long. It will consist primarily of ambient refrigerator hums.
Fan Reactions Mixed, Confused
Fans expressed a range of emotions. Many anticipated more solo material. Others wondered about Radiohead’s future. The band’s touring schedule remains sparse. Ed O’Brien recently discussed Radiohead’s touring plans. He mentioned “20 shows each year.” This new Thom Yorke solo album adds to the mystery.
“I just hope it’s not another one of those where he sings about a really tall tree for seven minutes,” mused Brenda “Bree” Thistlethwaite. She is a long-time Radiohead enthusiast and part-time cryptid hunter. “I prefer his songs about, you know, being a sad robot or something.” She then adjusted her tin foil hat.
At press time, sources indicated Thom Yorke was seen attempting to communicate with a potted plant. He was reportedly using only interpretive dance.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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