MELBOURNE—Aussie pop sensation Troye Sivan shocked the music industry today by releasing what he calls his "gayest music video" yet for the new single "FF." The clip accompanies his highly anticipated new album She's the Best. Industry insiders warn that the sheer density of pastel lighting in the video could disrupt local power grids.
Breaking the Pastel Barrier
The visual features choreographic maneuvers never before attempted on camera. "We had to consult structural engineers," said Barnaby Quill, Senior Analyst of Unsolicited Forecasts at Goldman Sachs. "Our models did not account for this much synchronized shoulder-shrugging in silk trousers. The Troye Sivan gayest music video could realistically cause a global shortage of baby oil by Tuesday."
Fans first suspected something major when Sivan teased the project on social media. He claimed the video transcended traditional limits of camp. Early viewers reported mild dizziness from the rapid sequence of direct eye contact and symmetrical backup dancers.
A New Standard for Pop
Label executives initially expressed concern over the budget for iced matcha lattes on set. However, they quickly realized the potential of the Troye Sivan gayest music video to redefine the genre. Music channels have already placed the video on a 24-hour loop to test the durability of modern television screens.
"We had to invent new colors just to grade the footage," said Agnes Periwinkle, Head of Audience Sedation at Live Nation. "Normal magenta simply did not possess the required emotional intensity for the bridge."
At press time, federal regulators were drafting safety guidelines for households attempting to replicate the video's signature wrist flick in confined spaces.
