WASHINGTON—The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued an urgent Fleetwood Mac documentary recall today. Federal inspectors declared the upcoming film an unprecedented threat to household peace. The documentary will premiere on Apple TV in early 2027. Regulators warned that early test screenings triggered localized passive-aggressive atmospheric shifts.
Hazard Description
Officials flagged the primary danger as critical emotional toxicity. Decades of unaddressed interpersonal friction have pressurized inside the digital master files. Streaming the footage may cause smart televisions to overheat. Surrounding furniture might absorb intense, multi-generational awkwardness.
"We logged record-high levels of residual side-eye," said Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before. "A single viewing can trigger sudden, inexplicable breakups between happily married couples. We are executing this Fleetwood Mac documentary recall before whole neighborhoods start harmonizing through tears."
Affected Units
The recall affects all digital streams, 4K physical prints, and early promotional trailers. Any device displaying footage of Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham in the same frame poses an immediate burn risk. Audio frequencies from the isolated vocal tracks have already cracked several laboratory monitor screens.
"The emotional payload exceeds federal safety standards," stated Dr. Aris Thorne, Director of the National Bureau of Sonic Hazard Mitigation. "The tension on set in 1977 was strong enough to destabilize local power grids. Storing that energy in a modern cloud server is wildly irresponsible."
Remedy and Instructions
Consumers must immediately disconnect their devices from the internet. Apple TV subscribers should delete the pre-save placeholder from their queues. The government urges citizens to replace the film with peaceful content. The agency recommends watching videos of paint drying or baseline static.
Subscribers who complete the Fleetwood Mac documentary recall process will receive a safety voucher. The coupon is redeemable for one low-drama album by Enya.
