SACRAMENTO— Weezer kicked off their highly anticipated Gathering tour on Tuesday night at the Golden 1 Center. The band shocked the crowd by performing several Weezer live rarities that nobody in the arena actually wanted to hear. While casual fans waited patiently for "Buddy Holly," the indie rock veterans instead delivered B-sides from 1997 that only exist on defunct fan forums.
1. "Mykel and Carli" Performed For Six Guys in Cargo Shorts
The band dusted off this beloved 1994 B-side to absolute silence from ninety percent of the arena. "We wanted to reward the fans who hate our successful music," said Rivers Cuomo, frontman for the band. Only six men near the soundboard reacted, nodding their heads in solemn, gatekeeping approval.
2. A 12-Minute Drone Version of "Jamie"
The band stretched this early track into a feedback-drenched jam session. Marcus Bellweather, Spotify’s Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence, watched from the VIP section with deep concern. "Our data shows that playing Weezer live rarities of this length reduces listener dopamine by forty percent," Bellweather stated.
3. "Suzanne" Dedicated to a Confused Teenager
Cuomo dedicated this classic soundtrack cut to a Gen Z fan in the front row. The teenager immediately pulled out her phone to search if "Suzanne" was a TikTok trend. She later confirmed to reporters that she thought the band was playing a cover of a song by Olivia Rodrigo.
4. An Unreleased Demo Played Entirely in the Dark
The band turned off all stadium lights to perform a song Cuomo wrote in his garage in 1992. The track featured no chorus and lasted for nine agonizing minutes. Security guards used this time to guide weeping fans toward the merchandise booths.
5. "Beverly Hills" Played at Half Speed as Punishment
To close the set, the band played their biggest commercial hit at a glacial, painful tempo. Lucinda Okonkwo-Bright, Director of Forward-Looking Regret at Meta, analyzed the crowd reaction. "The band is actively punishing the audience for buying tickets," Okonkwo-Bright noted. "It is a brilliant exercise in brand alienation."
6. The Band Admits They Do Not Know the Lyrics Either
During the final encore of these Weezer live rarities, Cuomo openly read the lyrics from a crumpled piece of paper. He later apologized to the crowd, admitting he found the song on a fan wiki page three hours before showtime. At press time, the band was seen rehearsing an acoustic cover of a spreadsheet.
