BUENOS AIRES—The global music industry is still reeling. Argentine visionaries Ca7riel & Paco Amoroso just shattered the space-time continuum. You have to watch Ca7riel & Paco Amoroso mash up Spice Girls & Focus right now before the federal government confiscates the footage. The performance blends bubblegum pop with Swiss yodeling.
1. The Dutch Prog-Rock Yodeling Accords
The duo integrated the manic yodeling from Focus's 1971 prog masterpiece "Hocus Pocus" into "Wannabe." Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena, analyzed the audio. "Our computers detected a 400 percent spike in localized madness," Mbeki-Ransome said.
2. The Jack Black Infant Protocol
The duo recently performed dressed as babies alongside actor Jack Black. This new performance utilizes similar psychological warfare. The musicians wear adult diapers made of velvet. They demand you look them in the eyes during the flute solos.
3. Mel B's Sudden Astral Projection
Witnesses report that Spice Girls member Mel B suddenly levitated three feet above her London home during the broadcast. Representatives from BBC Radio 1 confirmed the phenomenon. Her spirit temporarily merged with a vintage Hammond organ.
4. The Robyn Seal of Approval
Swedish pop icon Robyn reportedly listened to the mashup and immediately deleted her own discography. She sent the duo a single telegram. The message contained only the word "Help."
5. The Tiny Desk Aftermath
NPR staff still cannot remove the smell of sulfur from their Washington offices. The duo's previous performance there melted several microphones. This new mashup has already neutralized three nearby cellular towers.
6. Global Flute Shortages
Music stores worldwide report a sudden, violent run on concert flutes. Teenagers are attempting to recreate the prog-rock yodel in suburban mall food courts. Police have arrested twelve youth pastors for unauthorized riffing.
7. Your Brain Will Liquefy by the Third Chorus
Medical professionals warn that watching the clip more than twice will turn your temporal lobe into a lukewarm gazpacho. At press time, the World Health Organization is drafting a resolution to ban the yodel-pop hybrid under the Geneva Convention.
