AUSTIN, TX—Billionaire CEO Elon Musk announced a planned Tesla SpaceX merger Monday morning. The move aims to streamline the process of terminating identical software developers across both corporate entities. Musk confirmed the strategic union during an unannounced three-hour livestream.
Synergy In Human Resources
Corporate executives cheered the news. They cited immediate operational efficiency. 'Right now, we waste hundreds of administrative hours,' said Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before. 'We fire a guy at Tesla on Tuesday. Then we realize he also worked at SpaceX on Wednesday. This merger fixes that redundancy instantly.'
The combined entity will automatically revoke building access badges for both campuses simultaneously. Executives expect this single feature to save millions in security overhead.
One Single Termination Email
'We are eliminating the double-firing bottleneck,' said Lucinda Okonkwo-Bright, Director of Forward-Looking Regret at Meta. She consulted on the deal's organizational structure. 'Under the new system, one automated middle-of-the-night email dismisses the employee from electric vehicle assembly and orbital rocket telemetry at the exact same moment.'
Wall Street reacted with overwhelming enthusiasm to the planned Tesla SpaceX merger. Shares for the automotive company spiked twelve percent before trading was briefly halted due to a server error.
Engineers across both headquarters reportedly began packing their desk plants into cardboard boxes immediately following the announcement to save management time later in the week.
At press time, Musk announced plans to acquire Twitter a second time just to fire everyone who survived the first merger.
