Music
Drake Breaks Michael Jackson’s Hot 100 Record With ‘Janice STFU’
Drake broke Michael Jackson’s Hot 100 record with ‘Janice STFU’ debuting at No. 1. He now has 14 No. 1s and 42 songs on the chart.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Drake’s Chart Records Are Unbeatable, Experts Say. Maybe.
Can Drake’s new chart records ever be beat? Podcast hosts debate if any other artist can flood the charts like Drake did.
Music
Drake Claims 9 Of Top 10 Songs, Lykke Li Gets First #1 Credit
Drake claims 9 of the Top 10 songs, earning Lykke Li her first #1. Chart algorithms reportedly seek therapy.
Music
Arcángel’s ‘La 8va Maravilla’ Tour Hits US Cities, Inspires Mass Existential Dread
Arcángel’s ‘La 8va Maravilla’ tour is shaking up the US. It’s celebrating 20 years with existential dread.
Music
Roxette Announce 2026 Fall 40th Anniversary Tour, Fans Check Lifespans
Roxette Announce 2026 Fall 40th Anniversary Tour prompts mixed reactions. Fans book funerals alongside concert tickets.
Music
Bella Kay Says It Loudly On New EP, Still Not Sure If Anyone’s Mad
Bella Kay’s new EP ‘Are You Mad at Me’ explores post-breakup ambiguity with passive-aggressive charm. She finally lets out her feelings.
Music
Repeat Offender Announces Album, Vows To ‘Have A Blast’
Repeat Offender’s debut album ‘Weapon Fetish’ is set to drop soon. The band promised ‘a blast’ and ‘many loud noises’.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Explains ‘You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love’ Album
Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love’ album explores emotional contradictions. Fans await the pop star’s third LP.
Music
Carlos Vives Pours Colombian Pride Into Miami With Tour Al Sol
Carlos Vives brings Colombian pride to Miami on Tour Al Sol, calling the city important for cultural connection.
Music
Neil Young Makes Surprise Live Return, Demands More Maple Syrup
Neil Young makes surprise live return, demands maple syrup mid-set at Vancouver benefit. Fans hail ‘peak Canadian performance art.’
Music
Rise Against & Dropkick Murphys Announce Biggest-Ever Australian Shows
Rise Against and Dropkick Murphys are playing their biggest shows ever in Australia and New Zealand, baffling promoters.
Music
Lola Young James Blake Collab Performance Opens Portal To Mild Discomfort
Lola Young James Blake collab performance at Big Weekend created a brief temporal flux, causing minor reality distortions and a collective urge to check pockets.
Music
Drake Holds Top 3 Billboard Albums, Proving Talent Is Overrated
Drake now holds top 3 Billboard albums, proving quantity trumps quality. Fans are exhausted.
Music
Ludacris Pulls Over AMAs Red Carpet For New Music Video
Ludacris debuted his new “Pull Over” music video concept at the AMAs, promising a traffic-themed album.
Music
Rob Base Is Dead, But His 1988 Hit ‘It Takes Two’ Lives Forever
Rob Base has died, but his hit ‘It Takes Two’ is now immortal, existing independently of the rapper. A new phase for hip-hop.
Music
Trump’s Iran Deal Leaves Crucial Questions for Future Civilizations
Experts commend unprecedented forward-thinking procrastination.
Music
Rob Base, ‘It Takes Two’ Rapper, Dead at 59; Song Still Holding Up
Rob Base, ‘It Takes Two’ rapper, dead at 59. His 1988 hit song ‘It Takes Two’ was reportedly still in excellent condition.
Music
Jazz Trombonist Ryan Porter’s Ghost Demands Better Sound Mix
Ghost of jazz trombonist Ryan Porter haunts studios demanding better sound mixes. His ethereal presence critiques reverb and digital clipping.