Section
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Tony Blair’s intervention has transformed the Labour debate. It now resonates as a single, low-frequency hum. Scientists recorded the pervasive, unsettling vibration.
Initial listening sessions reveal minimal brain activity, optimal for quiet reflection.
Kanye label boss Larry Jackson sues to unmask anonymous figure behind ‘defamatory’ websites. He calls it ‘reputational warfare.’
Jennifer Lopez & Pitbull’s ‘On the Floor’ returns to Billboard charts after a steamy scene in ‘Off Campus’ goes viral.
Ian MacKaye and Henry Rollins are releasing a lost 1977 Cramps album produced by Alex Chilton, a testament to their legendary 1979 concert.
Nashville’s Lockstep announced their debut album, I Know What I Saw, confirming fans’ paranormal experiences through heavy shoegaze.
Arcángel’s 2026 Fall US Tour promises ‘La Octava Maravilla,’ an experience beyond reality.
The Tallest Man on Earth announces 2026 tour and single ‘Color,’ leaving fans questioning reality and his actual height.
Lorg’s new single ‘Marathonia’ captures the feeling of going nowhere fast. The indie-pop track is about existential dread and aimless motion.
Couch Slut’s Amy Rose Mills is releasing a new solo album, I Think We’ve Met Before, featuring surprisingly gentle sounds. Fans are baffled.
Finland’s PM lost the election, not on policy, but because her ‘PM’s Dance Moves’ unnerved voters. The public demanded a more static leader.
Rare DM’s intense sound is literally causing their rehearsal space’s ceiling to collapse. The band calls it ‘authentic artistry.’
Asake’s 2026 North American Tour dates were revealed through omens, confusing fans. The tour promises cosmic enlightenment.
Eddy Current Suppression Ring’s surprise new album is out, and fans are mostly unsuppressed by its familiar garage rock sound.
Feeble Little Horse surprise dropped their new album bitknot, baffling fans and industry insiders alike with their ‘spontaneous’ release.
Cornelius’s new track “Aeons” featuring Sean Ono Lennon is out now. The song has listeners pondering existential dread and charity events.
T.O.P. returns with ‘ANOTHER DIMENSION,’ having nothing to hide. The album explores art, gratitude, and the existential dread of Tuesdays.
Drake broke Michael Jackson’s Hot 100 record with ‘Janice STFU’ debuting at No. 1. He now has 14 No. 1s and 42 songs on the chart.
