PHILADELPHIA— Rapper Slayr announced his upcoming Avant Nova EP would drop this fall. He promised the new music would explore the void. Fans are reportedly preparing their existential dread playlists. Slayr previously stated his music was “for people who stare at their ceiling a lot.” This Avant Nova EP is no different. He hopes to translate that specific brand of ennui into sonic form. He is also embarking on his first North American headlining tour. Dates are limited to Tuesdays in months with an ‘R’.
Touring the Unseen
The tour promises to be an immersive experience. Slayr plans to perform in locations that are “conceptually relevant.” One planned venue is reportedly an abandoned Jiffy Lube. Another is a particularly bleak stretch of I-95. “We want to capture the raw, uncensored feeling of being alive, or at least, the vague sensation of something happening,” said Slayr. He stressed the importance of authenticity. He wants fans to feel the music. This includes the potential for structural collapse. More information can be found on Ticketmaster.
Avant Nova: The Sound of Nothing
Critics are already buzzing about the Avant Nova EP. Some are calling it “groundbreaking.” Others have labeled it “the sound of a dial-up modem dying alone.” Slayr brushed off the criticism. “This music is about the quiet screams,” he stated. “It’s for the moments between moments. It’s when you realize you left the oven on, but you are already three states away.” Slayr’s unique approach to Avant Nova is sure to resonate. His previous works include the hit single ‘My Socks Don’t Match And Neither Do I’.
At press time, Slayr was reportedly searching for a venue in the fifth dimension. He hoped to avoid Ticketmaster fees.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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