Music
Artificial Go Signs Deal Over “Triple Ones” Angst
Artificial Go’s new single “Triple Ones” reportedly caused existential dread in label execs, leading to a record deal.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
RaiNao’s “GRIS” Plunges World into Mild Apathy; Pantone Stocks Plummet
RaiNao’s new single “GRIS” has inadvertently plunged the world into a state of benign apathy, causing Pantone stocks to plummet and kale smoothies to taste merely ‘acceptable’.
Music
No Doubt Rarities Shock Fans, Band Members Alike
No Doubt’s Sphere residency kicked off with a bewildering set of No Doubt rarities, leaving fans and critics alike scrambling to identify the forgotten tracks.
Music
AVTT/PTTN Play KMML, Still Confuse Everyone
AVTT/PTTN Play KMML, baffling audiences with their unique sound. The band continues to defy categorization, leaving viewers confused. Their latest TV appearance offered no clarity.
Music
Big Freedia & SOPHIE Collab EP Unearths Sound That Does Not Fit
A previously unreleased Big Freedia & SOPHIE collab EP is coming. The sound is described as ‘aggressively joyful’ and ‘confusingly loud.’
Music
Ace Frehley’s ‘Budokan’ Guitar Sells for Millions, Proving It’s Worth The Kiss
Ace Frehley’s ‘Budokan’ guitar sold for $1.2 million. Kirk Hammett’s Ouija guitar also fetched a high price at Julien’s auction.
Music
Super Furry Animals Reunite For First Show In A Decade, Still Unsure Why
Super Furry Animals reunited for their first show in a decade, leaving fans wondering if they remembered where they parked.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Adds More Dates To Unraveled World Tour, Fans Still Unraveled
Olivia Rodrigo adds more dates to her Unraveled World Tour. Fans remain unraveled, struggling to secure tickets amidst overwhelming demand.
Music
Deep Purple Announce New Album SPLAT!, Their “Heaviest” Since 1974
Deep Purple’s new album SPLAT! promises to be their heaviest in decades. Fans hope for a return to form.
Music
Tasha Announces New Album You Are Spring, Says It’s About Time
Tasha’s new album, You Are Spring, aims to capture the essence of the season. Fans and critics debate its seasonal accuracy.
Music
Josh Groban Channels Movie Magic For His ‘Emotionally Personal’ New Album
Josh Groban discusses his ’emotionally personal’ new album, ‘Cinematic,’ featuring epic duets and family contributions.
Music
Action Bronson – “Peppers” Unleashes Global Scoville Scourge
Action Bronson – Peppers has listeners reporting a global spice crisis, leading to mass capsaicin cravings and spontaneous combustion.
Music
Eladio Carrión’s ‘CORSA’ Explores Existential Dread Of Unused Wrestling Moves
Eladio Carrión’s ‘CORSA’ delves into wrestling’s unused moves. He praises 50 Cent’s ‘hidden’ skills.
Music
BTS Mexico Tour Declared National Holiday, Border Opened
BTS Mexico tour becomes a state affair. President requests more shows due to ARMY demand. K-pop group’s visit declared national event.
Music
Kacey Musgraves and Miranda Lambert End Feud With “Horses And Divorces”
Kacey Musgraves and Miranda Lambert ended their feud with a live performance of “Horses And Divorces.” The duet resolves their past songwriting dispute.
Music
Justin Bieber Becomes Most Streamed Artist After Coachella, Unpaid Intern Blames AI
Justin Bieber is now Spotify’s most streamed artist after Coachella. An unpaid intern allegedly programmed an AI to boost his listener numbers.
Music
Rolling Stones Announce ‘Foreign Tongues’ Album, Still Confused
The Rolling Stones announced their new album Foreign Tongues, but band members seem confused by their own lyrics.
Music
Los Campesinos! Reveal North American Tour Costs: Mostly Just Shame and Regret
Los Campesinos! reveals what it costs to tour North America, including surprisingly high costs for existential dread and artisanal pickles.