Music
Salt-N-Pepa Fight UMG For ‘Lion’s Share’ Of Royalties
Salt-N-Pepa sue UMG, demanding the lion’s share of royalties for their classic hits. They want their money.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Military Re-Routes Billions After Kid Rock Stunt Exposes Airspace Vulnerability
A recent Kid Rock stunt involving a US Army helicopter has triggered a massive military overhaul, redirecting billions and launching new ‘Flight Path Etiquette’ protocols.
Music
Dorian Electra Announces New Album, Features Only Covers of Existing Concepts
Dorian Electra’s Cover Album, “Dorian Electra,” surprises fans. It features zero original songs, only covers of existing works and philosophical concepts.
Music
Friko’s New Song ‘Still Around’ Confirms Band Is Not Yet Dead
Friko’s new single ‘Still Around’ reassures fans the band is alive and well. The song addresses fears of disappearance.
Music
Panic Ensues After DRAM Spot Prices Plummet Below “Emotional Value”
Financial markets plunged after DRAM spot prices fell below “emotional value.” Analysts now ponder a future where chips are bartered for comfort.
Music
ICE Minnesota Arrests: Agency Breaks Record for Most Innocent Detainees
New data reveals three-quarters of ICE arrests in Minnesota had no criminal record, marking an absurd achievement for the agency.
Music
Thaiboy Digital Details New Album Paradise, Features 14 Tracks Of Ambient Mall Sounds
Thaiboy Digital’s new album, “Paradise,” offers an unprecedented sonic journey through various retail food courts and department store escalators.
Music
Swift Honors Elizabeth Taylor With Video Showcasing Only Swift
The pop icon stated the tribute was “long overdue” for the star she “always looked up to,” mostly in a mirror.
Music
OpenAI Plugins Unleashed: Humanity No Longer Needs to Pretend It Understands Anything
OpenAI plugins officially launched, taking Codex beyond coding. Humanity’s need for cognitive effort is now obsolete, freeing minds for truly important endeavors like staring blankly.
Music
Basement – ‘The Way I Feel’ Single Triggers Mass Existential Dread Among TikTok Users
Basement’s new single, “The Way I Feel,” has caused an unexpected crisis on TikTok, as users struggle to cope with its raw emotional content.
Music
Opus Kink Announce Debut Album, Prompt Existential Dread in Local Gerbils
Experts warn against playing new single “Come Over, Do Me Wrong” near fragile ecosystems.
Music
U.K. Declares Bananas Schedule I Substance After Cocaine Discovery
Following a massive cocaine found hidden in bananas bust, the U.K. government has reclassified the common fruit as a Schedule I controlled substance.
Music
BTS’s RM Expresses ‘Luv and Gratitude’ After Chart Domination
RM of BTS expressed ‘luv and gratitude’ as their new album and single topped charts. Fans pledged further streaming devotion.
Music
Lisa’s Vegas Residency Promises ‘Unprecedented Levels of K-Pop’
Lisa of BLACKPINK will launch the first K-Pop Las Vegas residency. Caesars Palace expects ‘a tidal wave of sequins.’
Music
Deep Purple Announces 2026 Tour, Promoters Secure Wheelchair-Accessible Pit
The Deep Purple Announce Summer 2026 North American Tour promises classic rock and ample seating, prompting fans to reserve tickets and ensure their walkers are charged.
Music
Drake Honors Nelly Furtado, Rallies Against Juno Awards Past Beef
Drake inducted Nelly Furtado into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame, but spent most of his video addressing his long-standing beef with the Juno Awards.
Music
Haywire Covers Trapped Under Ice, Summons Cro-Mags’ Harley Flanagan
Haywire’s concert strategy reached new heights with a Trapped Under Ice cover in Baltimore and summoning Harley Flanagan in NYC.
Music
Wu-Tang Concert Refunds Issued After Attendees Realize Group Wasn’t Complete
Australian Wu-Tang concert refunds have been offered after fans reportedly noticed fewer than 9 core members on stage, leading to widespread confusion.