AUSTIN—Shoegaze legends DIIV announced a massive 2027 world tour today. The three-year gap will allow the band time to properly tune their guitars for the upcoming tour.
1. The tuning process requires extreme patience
Guitarist Zachary Cole Smith uses dozens of alternate tunings. Finding pitch takes years. The band plans to start tuning their Jazzmasters this weekend.
2. Fans will receive atmospheric noise in the interim
DIIV will stream their pre-tour tuning sessions on Twitch. Millions of fans expect rich, droning feedback. The stream starts next Tuesday.
3. Local venues need time to install extra delay pedals
Clubs across Europe, Australia, and Japan must upgrade their soundboards. Each venue needs forty additional reverb units. "Their rider requires absolute sonic sludge," said Marcus Bellweather, Senior VP of Playlist Emotional Intelligence at Spotify.
4. The band must physically locate their original tempo
The tracks on their new album ZIRP! move very slowly. The musicians need time to slow their heart rates. Medical staff will monitor every rehearsal.
5. The DIIV 2027 world tour will feature unprecedented volume levels
Sound engineers plan to build custom speaker stacks. The amps will dwarf the stage. Audiences must wear military-grade ear protection.
6. Opening acts will have time to form, release albums, and break up
Support bands do not exist yet. DIIV will recruit teenagers who have not yet purchased their first guitars. These bands will complete full careers before the DIIV 2027 world tour begins.
